TimeWhirl: Cycles
by Joxtonson
Summary: Inspired by the Groundhog day style story, Chunnin Exam Day by perfectlionheart, Naruto discovers that being able to redo every mistake he ever made isn't all that great. Although maybe shoving a rasenshuriken at the hokage wasn't the best solution. At all. Who knew time loops could be so helpful and infuriating at the same time? Pairings to be decided. Time loops complicate things
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

"NARUTOOOOO!" Sakura screamed as Gaara arrived, carried by the floating sand that also transported her dying teammate. She rushed over to him, and with trembling fingers took off his coat to discover his heartbeat was fading.

"What happened to him? Why is he dying?!" The distressed kunoichi demanded.

"The kyuubi was extracted from him by Madara and Obito, along with the Hachibi from Bee." Gaara calmly replied, but everyone who knew him recognized the hidden sorrow behind his usually stoic voice. "

"But why is his heart failing? I can't see what's causing it!"

"Jinchuuriki cannot survive when separated from their demon inhabitant. I'm sorry Sakura, but there's nothing I can do."

Despite a rather ingenious plan to input Minato's yang half of Kurama within Naruto, they were too late and Sakura was left holding the still heart of her dead teammate in her hand. Tears streaming down her face from her clenched eyes, she let out a long, painful wail.

"NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

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 _NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

"Ah!" The blonde haired ninja fell out of bed, with a ringing in his head.

 _Ugh what was that? Was that my name? I think that was Sakura-chan who said that. Why would she…wait! Kurama! The war!_

Naruto shot up and looked around. _NO WAY!_ His old apartment met his eyes, but with no familiar picture frame of his team 7. What was going on? He had to think. What was the last thing he remembered? _Ok, so Kurama and Bee and Gyuki (eight tail's name) were fighting when…NO!_ It all came back to him in a torrent of images. So why was he alive? He should be dead. _Kurama!_ He tried contacting his new furry friend in his mindscape but received nothing.

He realized there were only two possible explanations. Either he was dead, which didn't seem likely as this seemed neither like heaven nor hell, or he was dreaming. A little of his unstoppable positivity leaked out and he grinned. Of course, that had to be it. He was dreaming! The absence of Kurama had led to his dying, and he was probably unconscious as his team attempted to revive him.

It seemed unlikely to him that they would succeed, as he knew without Kurama, he would be dead soon. Well, he was still alive right now, his dreaming proved that, right?

He walked outside, to see a familiar sight. Konoha, before Pain had leveled it. He walked around to be met with glares and unfriendly looks from the villagers. It felt like a punch to the balls, as he had spent so much time to earn their respect and love. _Whatever, it's just a dream._

He just smiled at them and kept walking. They weren't real, or at least they weren't any more so he ignored them. He started jumping around the rooftops trying to figure out what his dream consisted of and realized something. His physical status had been shot. His muscles felt weaker, and he felt smaller. That didn't feel right, if he knew he was in a dream, shouldn't he be able to control things?

It also felt very odd, and it shook him off a bit. Luckily, it was only a dream, right?

Regardless, he decided to check other things to see what else was off. His chakra seemed fine, and he remembered all his jutsu and knowledge. The only thing that seemed off was his body, which felt like a 12 year old's.

Suddenly, a chill shivered up his spine. Could this be the infinite tsukoyomi? Heart racing, he realized that was a very possible thought. The only counter he could think of was that the last thing he remembered was dying, and to be in the infinite tsukoyomi you had to at least be alive. It wasn't very reassuring, but it was all he had.

Off in the distance, he saw the hokage tower as it had once been. Maybe he could ask Granny Tsunade what was going on. Even in his subconscious, maybe dream Hokage could possess answers. It still felt weird how realistic everything felt.

As he walked into the tower, he put together what he would say. It felt both scary and exhilarating that he could do whatever he wanted, and it would only be a dream. Although it felt so realistic…what if this was real? But that wasn't possible, and anyway everything feels real when you're inside the dream. It only seems crazy once you're out of it, Naruto concluded.

"Ah, Naruto, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Naruto felt a shock and slowly met the eyes of Hiruzen Sarutobi, the long dead third Hokage.

"Gr-gramps? Is that really you?" Tears started to well up in the corners of his eyes. Sure it was only a dream, but it was cruel nonetheless to see his grandfather figure standing there right as rain.

"Of course, who else would I be?" The old man chuckled at the young blonde's antics.

Naruto couldn't take it and bolted. The memory of the old man dying was now fresh in his mind, and the stabbing pain of the death of one of the only people who had truly loved him in the past was more than he could handle.

What was going on?

That was it, he was done with this dream, and he had to wake up. He didn't relish the idea of slitting his throat however. Luckily, he knew other means of waking up from a dream. He just had to go to bed and sleep, which would wake him up usually. How would that even work out if he was currently unconscious? Well, only one way to find out.

As he walked home to his apartment, a certain emo duck-ass future traitor crossed his path.

"Watch where you're going, loser."

Naruto gaped at him, a surge of regrets and sadness flowing through him. First the old man, and now an untainted Sasuke.

"Sasuke…"

"Why are you looking at me like that, idiot? Still jealous you're not a ninja and I am?"

"Why you! What the hell are you talking abou-" He then remembered where he was. "Wait what are you talking about?" He reached up and felt…goggles? Of course! He had worn goggles before he wore his forehead protector! But wait, how far back in time was he in this dream? Well, he might as well play his part.

"Aw shut up you stuck up!"

"Hn. Go work on your worthless clone jutsu, loser. And stay out of my way tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?"

"Hn, figures you wouldn't know, you missed class today remember? We got teams, and somehow I got stuck with you and that worthless fan girl." With that, he left his fuming orange-clad subordinate and walked away, his hands jammed in his pockets.

 _Why that jerk! I oughtta-_ He suddenly had a thought, and a mischievous grin spread across his whiskered cheeks. _Since this is just a dream, why not go out with a bang?_ He thought. This was going to be fun.

That Night:

Sasuke slept, unaware of his visitor. Naruto crept up to him, and had an evil grin on his face when

"NOOOOO WHY ITACHI!"

Startled, Naruto jumped up in surprise. He realized Sasuke was dreaming about his older brother. Or would it be nightmaring? Ah who cared. _Heh heh, you're going to be in for a surprise Sasuke, when Obito tells you what really happened._ He considered telling this dream Sasuke out of spite, but decided against it.

"Shadow clone jutsu!" With that, ten Narutos appeared.

"Alright guys, you know what to do."

"YES SIR!" The clones all went to work, setting traps for the much deserving brooder.

Naruto trudged home, weary but satisfied. If only he could stay long enough to see Sasuke's reaction. Oh well, some dreams just aren't meant to be. He slipped into bed and fell asleep instantly, his last thought of sadness at knowing he would wake up in a world with a must darker Uchiha and without a sorely missed Hokage.

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"NARUTOOOOOO!"

Said ninja flew up awake at the cry. Only this time, it wasn't a pained female voice, it was the voice of a male, and one that promised pain.

Sasuke Uchiha kicked the door open, and flew in.

"Naruto, I know you did this!"

Naruto wiped his bleary eyes, and took in the sight before him. Standing in front of him was a raven-haired teen with a moustache, a uni-brow, feathers stuck to honey on his skin, several lumps on his head, and permanent marker on his neck saying "Property of Orochimaru." He burst out laughing his head off, until he realized with a sinking feeling that he was in the dream. But how?

He had no time to think however, as in the next instant, only his instinct saved his underdeveloped body from avoiding the wrath of a certain Uchiha. Dodging blow after blow should have been easy according to his experienced memory, but his young body said otherwise.

"You're going to pay Naruto! This is the last straw!"

"Aw shut up you bastard! You had this coming, acting like you've got a stick up your ass!"

"Why you annoying, idiotic-"

Just when it seemed Naruto would have to take drastic action, help came from an unexpected source.

"Sasuke-kun! What are you doing here? We need to go wait for our new sensei for the bell test! And Naruto you idiot! Where the hell were you yesterday? Sasuke-kun and me got stuck with you UGH! AND Stop picking fights with Sasuke-kun! We're on the same team now so behave Naruto!" Sakura appeared, somehow having used her fan girl senses to track down Sasuke.

At this point, Naruto was bewildered beyond belief. What was going on? Why the heck was he still in this dream? That was it, drastic times called for drastic measures. And hey, despite the pain it would be interesting to see the reactions of his old teammates.

"And Naruto if I hear ONE more time you've been picking on my Sasuke-kun, I'm gonna turn you into hamburger meat! Did you see that Sasuke-kun? I defended you against that idiot!"

"Hn"

"Well, Sakura-chan, you've made you're point. I gladly concede and will take the appropriate measure."

"Wait, what? Naruto you're making even less sense than usual." Sakura slapped her forehead with her hand, annoyed even more somehow against her "new" teammate.

Naruto took out a kunai, and rolled up his sleeve. Hopefully it wouldn't hurt too bad before he woke up in the real world.

"Well, here goes nothing!" As his shocked teammate's eyes widened, he drew the tool across his wrist, drawing a worrisome amount of blood.

"NARUTO WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"What the hell you idiot, what's wrong with you!"

Naruto grinned and grimaced at the same time, crouching down as he felt the effects of the massive blood loss.

"HELP! HELP SOMEBODY HELP HE'S GOING TO DIE HELPPPP!" Sakura, useful as always screamed desperately for aid. Somehow, Kakashi found them.

It wasn't much of a surprise to Naruto, as he knew that Kakashi wouldn't be at the meeting, as he was always late. What was he even doing around this part of Konoha anyway? It probably didn't matter to him, he just read porn anyway no matter where he was. Then again, Naruto vaguely recalled that until Sasuke had left, Kakashi hadn't really payed attention to him at all. It was always all about Sasuke. He felt a tinge of anger, not enough to make him hate Kakashi, no he had already proven his trust to Naruto in the…future? Or out of this dream would work too. Well, he might as well screw him over just a bit as petty revenge, since it was a dream.

Kakashi had been reading his porn as Naruto had suspected, when he heard a bloodcurdling shriek. Racing to the scene, he realized it was Naruto's apartment. What could be going on? He body flickered in to see his new student bleeding to death.

"What the hell?! Who did this?" Kakashi took on a flabbergasted look, somehow with his mask. His eye grew wide, and one could only assume his other eye and his mouth had too.

"Heh, it was Obito. He killed me saying something about Rin?" With that, Naruto passed out.

"Wha…No….How…"

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"Eurghhh…" Naruto slowly rose to consciousness. _Ughhh what happened…OH yea! I should be in the real world now. Hahahahah that look on Kakashi-sensei's face was priceless. I should feel bad, but it was just a dream anyway, and serves him right for his training, or lack thereof I guess._ He glanced around to get his surroundings.

"So, Naruto, would you like to explain how you know about Obito Uchiha and Rin?"

"…..Oh shit."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

"Um well…you see…HA!" With a shout, our hero valiantly attempted to jump toward the window of the hospital he was currently captur- err, hospitalized in. Same difference, right?

Unfortunately for the young blonde, he was stopped by two things. One was the fact that he was suffering massive blood loss. The second were the ropes binding him to the bed. He glanced at his wrist to see it healed. _Huh, that's weird. I guess the fox is here somewhere then. But where? Maybe he's just-_

"I would appreciate an answer, _Naruto_!" Kakashi was not sure how his new apprentice had known those names, but he was not amused in the slightest.

"Yes, Naruto how did you learn those names?" The third hokage was there as well.

 _Crap crap crap! How am I still here?! They must have managed to heal me in time! But how?_ "Uhhh sure, but first how the hell am I alive?"

"Plasma pills. That, and you're inhabitant, as you know from Mizuki. Strangely it still took a bit of time for you to heal."

"Ahh…right. Do you have any more on hand by chance?" He slowly began wriggling his hand toward the rack next to him with tubes and syringes and scalpels and God knows what else.

"Unfortunately, no. It took all we had at the moment to even get the bare minimum needed to support what you lost. Why, do you feel weak? Kakashi said in a clipped tone, still suspicious.

"Ha, yeah I am, but that's not why." He managed to grab a scalpel and quickly plunged it into his heart."

"NO!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOU NARUTO! MEDIC!"

With that, Naruto finally felt death close around the searing pain in his heart.

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Slowly, Naruto regained consciousness. He felt himself in a bed and relaxed.

 _Man what a strange dream. That took forever to wake up from. Hell, I'd started to think that was the real world. Thank god it's over._

Stretching, Naruto rose up and yawned. Rubbing his eyes, he looked around for his teammates. And then his jaw dropped open. In horror.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!"

He was back in his room, in what seemed to be when he was 12 years old. What was going on? He had died for sure. But he was back here. His mind was buzzing, and he felt a major headache coming. Was he stuck in some kind of repeat? What kind of dream was this? But no…this couldn't be a dream. He had died for sure. Was this genjutsu?

"KAI!" Nothing happened. Well, he could have just done it wrong he guessed, he sucked at all things genjutsu wise. But this didn't seem like genjutsu. Could this be…real? He had surely died…But then did that mean he had died from the war too? Was that the reason he was sent back in time?

All these crazy thoughts swirled in his too cluttered mind, he needed help, he needed advice. And in this strange dream-world-whatever, he knew just where to get it.

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"Old man! Old man let me in!"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Hiruzen looked at the door and grumbled, "Come in, Naruto!"

Naruto burst in, looking disheveled and for all the world depressed.

"What's wrong Naruto? I thought this would be the happiest day of your life, becoming a ninja is the first step to becoming hokage, isn't it?"

"Look, Gramps, there's something I need to tell you. It's going to sound crazy, but I promise you it's true. Can I trust you?"

"Of course, Naruto." Now the boy had his attention. What could be so important?"

"Ok, so it's like this. We're in the middle of the fourth great ninja war, and I died. And now I'm here somehow, but I was here yesterday too. Or not yesterday, but before. Like before this life. Like I mean I died again but came back to this morning…" Naruto desperately kept talking despite the ever growing disbelief showing on the hokage's face.

"Naruto, if this is one of your pranks-"

"I swear it's not! I'm telling you the truth old man! You died when you fought Orochimaru!"

"What? How do you know about him?!"

"The sand invaded during the chunnin exams! And Orochimaru attacked Sasgay during the second phase in the forest of death!"

"Wait STOP! How do you know all this? What do you mean the sand, we're at peace with them right now! And how do you know that the second phase of the chunnin exams were going to be in the forest of death? And wait did you just call Sasuke-"

"It doesn't matter! The point is I'm back in time and I don't know why! Help me gramps! What do I do?"

"Naruto, this is very…unexpected. You've convinced me enough for me to consider what you are saying, but this is all so ludicrous! I'll need more than some foretelling knowledge."

"ARGH alright! How's this? Shadow clone jutsu!" Another Naruto appeared in the puff of smoke.

"Naruto, I already know you can use the shadow clone jutstu, what-"

"Just keep watching old man!" He began gathering chakra and rotating it in his hand, and before the astonished face of the hokage, began forming the rasengan.

"Na-naruto, how do you know the fourth's jutsu?" The amazed man managed to stutter out.

"Your pervy student taught me!"

"You mean Jiraiya? But how? You've never met him!"

"…Future, remember? Now do you believe me?"

"…Anbu! Come in here!" Four anbu agents appeared in the room, awaiting orders.

"Take Naruto to Inoichi, for a full mind scan. I need to know who tampered with his mind, if he is Naruto at all."

"Yes sir!"

"Wait WHAT?! Old man NO! I'm telling you the truth! I'm Naruto Uzumaki! I can prove it just let me explain! NO stop STOP LET ME GO!" The anbu grabbed him roughly but the young ninja threw them off.

"Naruto stop resisting! They won't hurt you, I just need to know what's happening and a full mind scan will do just that." The old man looked at the distressed jinchuuriki.

"No! NO! I won't let you! YOU CAN'T!" In his panicked mindset, he quickly summoned two clones and began charging up his jutsu.

"Quick, disable his chakra points!" The hokage told the hyuga anbu. 'He is going to create the fourth's jutsu, the rasengan!"

Much to his surprise, the Hokage saw not a blue sphere, but a spiraling white shuriken that seemed to be composed of a rasengan and wind blades.

"RASENSHURIKEN!" Naruto slammed it into the floor, effectively killing everyone in the parameter.

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"AHHHH!" Naruto bolted up in bed. Did he really just make a rasenshuriken and kill his hokage? No it had to be a dream. Unless… Naruto jumped out of bed and looked around in dismay. He was back where he started, or at least he assumed so. _WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!_

Naruto went to sit down, and tried to calm down. Fact one: He was going back in time to the same day every time he died. Fact two: He went back in time with all his memories and chakra and knowledge, but not his physicality. Okay, he could work with those. If only he had someone else to confide in. Last time he tried had not gone so well. He felt alone, even more so than ever before because in this, he could trust no one.

What could he do?

He needed a plan of action, that was what he needed. _Right, ok, so who could I trust? Hmm not pervy sage, at least not yet. Come to think of it, where was he the whole time I suffered in the village? I'm not the kind to hold grudges, but I want to know why. Ugh if only there was someone I could trust!_

Ok, so he needed to figure out what to do. First, look at the date. It was August 1st. Well, he'd play along for now, try to see what was going on. If he could find a flaw or something that went against his memory, he knew it would be a genjutsu.

Good, that sounded like a plan. It was off to the academy.

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"Naruto, you're late!" Iruka had a disappointed look on his face. "And why aren't you wearing your headband?"

"Wait, what?" The blonde reached up and realized that he was wearing his old goggles. Man, that took him back.

"Uhhh, I didn't want to spoil it, I'll wear it tomorow." He stammered out, this was getting weird. Bad enough that it seemed to genuinely be during his pre-teen years, but now he had to blend in.

"Ok then Naruto, take a seat. We're announcing teams today."

 _Oh boy, now I get to be paired with Sakura-chan and with Sasuke, the traitorous bastard._

"Yup ok!" The "new" ninja proclaimed with his old foxy grin. At least he knew enough about himself to pass off as his older self.

"Team 7: Sakura Haruno."

Sakura gasped and sat up. Dare she hope?

"Naruto Uzumaki."

"NOOO I'm doomed!" Sakura let out with a wail. She looked over at her now teammate and was surprised. Gone was his dreamy expression at her. In fact, he looked pretty bored and deadpan for someone who just got paired with the love of his life. Or so she thought.

 _Ugh, I forgot how annoying old Sakura is like. Sorry future Sakura-Chan, but she is._

"You're doomed? How do you think I feel, you impossibly lovesick violent lunatic?" He accidently let the words slip out his teeth.

"Wh-what?" Sakura was shocked. She didn't realize until now how much she relied on his adoration to boost her spirits every time she was equally put down by Sasuke.

Said emo was equally shocked, he just didn't show it. What was going on with the loser today? Had he finally wised up and realized how stupidly annoying his number 1 fan girl was?

"And Sasuke Uchiha!"

"AHHHHHHH! Squeeeee Sasuke-kun did you hear that?" Sakura forgot about the unorthodox behavior of her teammate and was ecstatic at the new announcement. It was fate, it had to be! True love always prevailed, and it had put her and her love together to be written in the stars!

 _Well, that's a start I guess. Things are goin along…normally?_ Naruto was deep in thought when he realized Iruka-sensei was staring at him. _Why's he stari- Oh yeah, I need to act more normal!_

"uh… Darn it! Iruka-sensei why's a great ninja like me have to um…be…oh yea be stuck with a traitorous bastard like him?" Naruto inwardly smacked his head. This was harder than he thought.

"NARUTO YOU IDIOT! Don't talk about Sasuke-kun like that!" ' _CHAA! Now Sasuke-kun will have to love me! I defended his honor!'_ Sakura inwardly fist pumped.

"Yes, Naruto. You had the worst scores, while Sasuke had the best. We put the best student with the worst student to balance out th- wait, why'd you just call Sasuke a _traitorous_ bastard?" Iruka stated to say in a rehearsed tone, until he realized confusedly what his favorite student had just called the Uchiha.

"Because he freakin- um, I mean…uhh no reason." Naruto face palmed mentally.

"Uhh…right."

"Hn, just don't get in my way. Loser." The brooding teen sat with his hand interlocked, casually letting out the insult.

"Why YOU B-"

"NARUTO SHUT UP BEFORE I TURN YOU INTO GROUND BEEF!" Sakura was infuriated that anyone would talk back to her crush.

"That's right Naruto! Just leave him alone, he doesn't need your idiotic words to know he's the best. Oh Sasuke-kun!" And look at that, Ino, fan girl number 2 had appeared.

 _Why me?_ The poor blonde moped at his cruel fate in his head.

"Now wait for your senseis in here."

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After all his teammates had been assigned and left with their respective sensei, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were left. Waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

Naruto was sitting there, trying to figure out his next move. Trying to remember everything he'd done in an effort to make himself a part of whatever the hell this was and not stand out.

Sakura sat there, first admiring her crush. _Hehe, look at Sasuke-kun. He's so cool! Sitting there, so deep in thought. He's so handsome too! He's so quiet and mysterious. He's probably a softie inside that harsh outer shell of his. I wonder how I can get him to acknowledge his true feelings for me. True love is always requited!_ And thus was the following thoughts for the next hour for the obsessed pinkette. Although after waiting several hours, ranting at her new tardy sensei took a close second.

Sasuke sat there, brooding as usual. Contemplating his revenge. Should he beat his brother into an unresponsive pulp? Or maybe play it slow, torture him slowly and make him understand part of the pain he had made Sasuke feel that fateful night. Or maybe make it quick. Better not to make a mistake.

And then, the door slid open. Yet no eraser fell on the wild mane of silver hair.

"So…your my new team 7. I'm Kakashi Hatake. Meet me on the roof."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Sakura was about to yell at him for his tardiness, but was left with a finger pointing at thin air where her late teacher had just been and her mouth open.

"Guys, how'd he leave so fa-" Sakura began to ask when she realized she was the only one there. _Figures that Sasuke-kun got there so fast, he's amazing! But how the hell did Naruto do that? And why didn't he complain like I was going to?_

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Up on the Roof:

"So. Let's start with introductions, shall we?" The masked jounin drawled out.

"My name is Kakashi Hatake, I have many likes and dislikes, I have several hobbies that I don't feel like sharing, and as for a future dream? Eh, I don't really know."

(A.N: I forget his exact words)

Sakura sweat dropped. _Seriously? All I got was that he's called Kakashi Hatake._

Naruto knew this was coming. He considered blurting out what he knew about his teacher, but decided he'd rather not go through the whole day again from square one.

Sasuke also internally sweat dropped. _Okay, so he's the Kakashi I've heard about. Seems he's pretty secretive, or maybe he's just bored. Hn, whatever, I can still probably glean some info on how to kill my brother out of him._

Poor Naruto didn't think he could take anymore of this. After the initial confusion, fear, and nostalgia, it was getting pretty boring. No on wanted to keep watching the same movie over and over again. Variety was the spice of life!

"Sigh, I'll go first. My name is Naruto Uzumaki, and…uh…I like ramen…yeah that's it I really like ramen. My dreams for the future are-" The jinchuuriki got a little choked up as he realized he might never see his future pals again.

 _Uhh ok. My notes and intel I received tell me he's a wild one, and not too bright._ The kid in front of him was anything but. Other than the bright orange jumpsuit and unruly blonde hair, he seemed to be pretty calm. If anything he looked a little…depressed?

"Um…right. Next?"

Sakura was shook out of her stupor, she was wondering what was up with Naruto.

"My name is Sakura Haruno. The thing I like…I mean the person that I like…giggle…What I like to do is…heehee….My dream for the future is…SQUEEEE!" The pink haired teen giggled like crazy and stared at Sasuke with adoring eyes. She blushed as she imagined, no thought of what she KNEW was going to happen.

 _My god this is even worse…she's so obsessed with Sasuke her adoration is tangible. And I see_

 _And I see no teamwork whatsoever. Well, not teamwork per se, more like it seems that Sakura has eyes only for Sasuke, who seems to be deep in thought. And Naruto is giving no attention, and receiving none either. Please tell me the last Uchiha is at least better than her._

"Next!"

"My name…is Sasuke Uchiha. I dislike many things, and don't like too many things. My goal is not a dream, because I intend to make it a reality. I'm-" The raven haired youth was interrupted from his dramatic monologue of revenge by Naruto.

"Going to kill a certain someone, yeah yeah get some meaning to life you vengeance obsessed prick!" Without thinking, the blonde had given in to his increasing annoyance at the boredom and the predictable emo.

When he noticed the stares he was getting, he cursed inwardly.

"Uhh yeah haha I know you mean me Sasuke, that's how I knew what you were going to say…yea definitely." The lie was far from convincing, but it helped that all three didn't think too highly of him.

"Hn, you're not even worth killing, loser." _But I was Itachi!_ The young Uchiha was a bit confused at the antics of his teammate, but whatever. He had more important things to put his energies into.

"Ummm ok then. Tomorrow, you all are going to take a test. Meet me in the morning at 7 sharp at the training grounds."

"What?! Why a test, Kakashi sensei?" The banshee-like shriek tore out from Sakura's mouth.

"We already passed the genin test!"

"Yes, Sakura I know. That was like a filter. The real test begins tomorrow. Fail, and its back to the academy for you. Also, don't eat breakfast. You'll puke."

Sasuke kept up his stony exterior, but he was shaken up inside. How could he pass with these morons as teammates? He needed this training to help get his revenge. No, he couldn't fail! Even if he had to kill his own teammates so they wouldn't get in the way. Ok, maybe not that far but this was the first step to gaining power.

Naruto knew this was coming. He wondered if maybe he should warn his teammates about the no breakfast thing. _Eh, nah. They got this coming, I mean I'm not supposed to change things, right? I need to keep things the normal way they're supposed to go heh heh. I keep this information to myself despite the pain it brings me._ Ok, so he just had to get a bell, right? Oh wait he remembered Kakashi's number one sentiment. Teamwork, teamwork, teamwork.

Not like he had even instilled that in them from the beginning anyway. It was always about the Uchiha, forget your own master's son and that annoying pink-head.

As the newly formed team 7 departed, Kakashi took one last look at his teacher's legacy. Something felt off to him. This didn't seem like the hyperactive ball of energy he had heard about and seen being chased around the village countless times. Heck, he seemed more cheerful when he was scrubbing paint off what he had recently vandalized, be it the hokage monument or some unfortunate store owner's wall.

"Sasuke-kun, since we're a new team now, do you want to go-"

"No." Sasuke kept it short and simple. He shoved his hands in his pocket and stepped away with a slouch.

Sakura slightly wilted, but shot back up ready to reject Naruto's invitation to whatever.

"Sakura, you sh-"

"No Naruto! I don't want to go out with you ok? Sasuke is my one true love, and he'd never forgive me if I cheated on him with you, not that I ever would." Good, that boosted her spirits up a bit. It felt good to be constantly wanted. Or at least she thought, until:

"My God, how is anyone so stupid? Look, Sakura I was just going to say that you should give up Sasuke, he doesn't give two farts about you. And I doubt he could care less if you cheated on him, not that I'd even consider you." The whiskered blonde was done being her punching bag, at least in the current era. He could handle it from his Sakura, she had matured…enough he guessed. But this Sakura? God she made him want to curl up and die. But not anymore!

"…" Sakura just gaped at him. What was going on? Her source of abuse and at the same time self-esteem had just exploded at her. Her first reaction was hurt, and then confusion. What had happened? Just yesterday he had been infatuated with her! Her baffled emotions slowly shifted to anger and she lashed out.

"What the hell do you mean Naruto? I love Sasuke and when he sees how in love I am with him, he's sure to love me back." ' _CHA! What would Naruto even know about love anyway, that idiot!"_ She looked expectantly at the village outcast for an apology, only to see he wasn't there.

"What the…"

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RING RING RING

*SMASH*

"Uhhh….aw crap not again!" Naruto cradled the shattered remains of his alarm clock and looked around. Once again, he was stuck in the past. What a surprise. He walked to his kitchen to see that it was August second. Time was moving!

After some toast and milk, thankfully not expired, he got dressed and equipped. Ok it was to time to make genin…again. _Ugh._

He slowly made his way to the training grounds, and met Sakura and Sasuke both looking a tad sleepy. _Well, time to wait._ He knew his sensei would be late as usual. _Might as well start infusing chakra._ He wanted to make himself known. Maybe then Kakashi-sensei would acknowledge him early on and teach him instead of the spoiled Uchiha.

Sakura and Sasuke were starting to regret not eating breakfast as the hours wore on. Forget throwing up, they'd be lucky if they didn't pass out from hunger. At last, their teacher showed up.

"YOU'RE LATE AGAIN!" The kunoichi was enraged at the fact that it seemed their sensei would always be late.

"Heh, sorry guys. You see, I got-"

 _Lost on the road of life._ Naruto finished in his head. He knew all his teacher's excuses. Not one of them was believable.

"Alright." The jounin set down a clock and set it for noon. He then pulled out two bells.

"You're task is to get these bells from me by noon. The person who doesn't gets tied to this post and goes without lunch."

Both Sakura and Sasuke inwardly groaned. So this was why they were forced to fast that morning. Naruto felt nothing, he knew this.

"You must come at me with lethal force or you will not be able to get the bells from me. You may use jutsu, kunai, shuriken, etc."

"Gasp, but what if we kill you or hurt you badly, sensei?" Sakura worried aloud.

"Haha, believe me, that won't happen."

 _That's what you think Kakashi-sensei, hehe._ Naruto was still a genin back then, but he was powerful. And even though Kurama was nowhere to be found, he still had his own power.  
"Ok, Kakashi-sensei, its time to go! I'm so done waiting, I'm going to make genin, and then I'm going to become hokage!" _Good, that should throw them off for a bit if my strange behavior made them suspect anything._

Kakashi smiled and relaxed a little. This was more like the Naruto he knew. He put down his arm and said, "BEGIN!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

A.N: Some reviews would be nice people . Hell, even criticism is ok. Btw, are disclaimers required?

"BEGIN!"

And so it went. Kakashi watched as Sakura and Sasuke zipped the hell out of there. Leaving him with a sole blonde in the open, facing him with a confident grin.

"You're…different from the rest, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am! I'm not some pushover fan girl, or a brooding emo, um…oh yea BELIEVE IT!"

"Uh huh…well, let's get this over with."

 _Hah, Kakashi-sensei still thinks I'm the dead-last. Well, he's in for a surprise, I'm going all out!_ In his rush of adrenaline and eagerness to prove his past sensei's belief wrong, he forgot about playing his past part.

 _Well, here goes. Obito, it seems that these guys still have no idea about teamwork. And Minato-sensei, your son is just like his mom, but I fear he has no talent whatsoever._ He sighed, and got out his book, confident that he would be able to multitask.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei! Don't read porn while I'm fighting you!"

Kakashi just kept reading, and the glanced up, as though just hearing what the fourth's son just said.

"Hm? Sorry, did you say something?" He nonchalantly replied, flipping to another page.

Alright, all reason was now gone from Naruto's brain. It was go time.f

"Shadow clone jutsu!" Naruto cried out, and ten Naruto's appeared.

 _Hmm, the shadow clone jutsu…so the rumors were true. Maybe this kid isn't all that bad._ He flipped another page, but he wasn't giving the book much attention. He was more focused on Naruto now.

Nine clones zigzagged at the silver haired Jounin, and attacked in several directions. He blocked a punch from a clone on the right, and kicked the attacking duplicate into oblivion. The clone behind him he sensed, and grabbed the fist aimed at his head. He then used said fist to punch another clone coming on top of him, and then swung the poor trapped clone at two other clones coming on either side. With a poof and a cloud of smoke, they all vanished.

Three clones came at equal distance from each other, all converging on Kakashi. He let them come, and allowed on clone to put him in a headlock. The second clone then punched him in the face, only to see in dismay a puff of smoke, saying it was a clone of him that Kakashi had substituted.

 _Well, I think that was all of the-_

WHAM

A fist came up from underground, as the last attacking clone erupted from below.

"HAHA YESS! Take that Kakashi-sensei!"

Said man was flying up high, his chin upward and seemingly in pain. Unfortunately for the sun-kissed ninja, the jounin exploded in smoke, to reveal a log.

 _Sigh, is the substitution really all I need to defeat him? I guess the shadow clone jutsu was just a show of raw chakra, not ski-WHAT THE HELL?_ He looked at Naruto in disbelief, as the last remaining clone channeled chakra into Naruto's outstretched palm, forming a spiraling mass of destructive energy.

"Rasengan!"

"N-naruto, ho-how did you learn that jutsu?" The gob-smacked adult was in utter shock. His befuddled thoughts all mixed together into mush as he tried to figure out what was happening right before his eyes.

"Heh, you shouldn't underestimate people on what others say about them, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto's clone launched him at the subject of his taunt, and as he raised his blue orb of annihilation, he grinned as he knew he would finally get a bell.

"Chidori!" (A.N He still uses it I think, lightning blade is later on) A crackling bolt of blue voltage appeared in Kakashi's hand. Not thinking straight, all Kakashi could think of in his muddled state was that he was being attacked by a potentially deadly jutsu. Sure, he had said come with lethal force, but since when did kids know fatal jutsus? It was like challenging an ant only to discover it could carry a full size chainsaw.

His emotions in turmoil, he reacted with instinct, and launched his lightning attack at the bewildered blonde.

 _Holy crap I didn't mean to cause Kakashi-sensei to have a mental breakdown! He wouldn't actually do this would he?_ Unfortunately, he would in his current mindset.

"R-rasengan!"

"Chidori!"

When Sasuke and Naruto had fought, they had been pretty evenly matched, causing an explosion. While one would think that Kakashi with all his experience and chakra would win, Naruto was still from the future, and had massive chakra reserves anyway.

Still, Naruto, even with the whole "come at me with lethal force," still didn't charge up his rasengan full power.

Kakashi was not in his right state of mind, and so ripped through Naruto's jutsu with ease and rammed straight through his student's heart. Seeing his master's son bleeding out from a gaping hole in his chest caused by himself snapped him out of his stupor.

"OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE!"

Sakura had long past being confused, and was at a loss of what was even going on. All this craziness, she did the only thing she could. She fainted.

Sasuke was showing more emotion than he ever had since the Uchiha Massacre, shock and worry showing on his face. He wasn't made out of stone, much as he'd like people to believe. This was just way too much.

With that, our hero died. Again. Oh boy…

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Waking up in his bed didn't really come as a shock anymore. He felt his chest while it felt weird to see himself whole, he really didn't know what was normal anymore.

What the hell was he thinking? Sure, Naruto didn't intend to use his rasengan to kill Kakashi, but he was supposed to play along! Since when did he ever use an A rank jutsu for a Genin test? He got out of bed and looked at his calendar. August 1st. What a surprise.

Screw this. He definitely didn't want to do that all over again. Twice was bad enough. He was skipping, and going to find answers, Naruto style. Who could he ask? Who could he trust? Definitely not the old man, or at least not the way he had told him. Maybe the subtle approach was necessary.

Leaving his apartment, Naruto decided to put on his headband. He walked towards the Hokage tower. The villagers all leveled looks of hate him, and this time it hurt much worse than it had before. He knew this was definitely not over anytime soon, and seeing all his hard work being thrown back at his face hurt. Whatever, he would find an answer. There had to be a solution, and he wouldn't give up until he found it.

Reaching the tower, the newly made genin entered.

"Naruto, what can I do for you? And aren't you supposed to be at the academy?"

 _Oh crap. Forgot about that._ "Ummm, yea but hold on old man! I need to ask you something."

"What is it? It should be important, after all you can't be Hokage if you skip classes."

"Yeah, yeah, but gramps, listen. Is there any kind of time ninjutsu that makes someone repeat their life? Or maybe a genjutsu that does that?"

"Hmmm, maybe something along those lines, but why do you ask?"

"Umm, no reason. I'm just really curious."

"…"

"And after all, Hokage's need to know lots of powerful jutsu's! And I'm going to be Hokage!...Believe it!"

"Ah, ok then." _Heh, Naruto, I'm sure you'll make a fine hokage one day, you just need to grow up some more. "_ Hmm let me think. There is a certain Uchiha genjutsu that allows time manipulation."

"Like, if I died, I would think I went back in time and if I die, I'll go back to that time point?"

"Hm, perhaps. But that would not really serve much purpose, and it cannot last forever. Also, I'm not sure the detail would be good enough if it is based solely on the victim's memory. There are certain interrogation techniques that could do that however, messing with the victim's sense of time and creating desperation."

"Really old man? Who uses them?"

"Ibiki, but you don't know him. However, you may have seen a certain purple-headed kunoichi around. She particularly likes dango."

Oh, did he know her. He remembered how in the past…or was it the future now? God this was confusing. Anyway, he remembered taking her dango at one point and getting skewered. He shivered at the memory…or future vision? That's it he couldn't take this anymore.

"Thanks old man! I'll see you later."

"You're welcome, Naruto. Now, you should get back to cla-" But the jinchuuriki was gone.

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"God, this dango is so delicious. Aw yes, the last stick. It looks so sweet and succulent with that rick syrup, I can't wait to eat i-"

GULP

"Mmmm, I love dango."

Anko's eye twitched. Did this blonde weirdo just eat HER dango? Oh the pain was on.

At that moment, Naruto knew he fucked up.

"WAIT! I'm sorry, I'll buy you another stick if you just listen!"  
"I'm sorry, but you eating my dango means you must want to die. So I will happily oblige." The sadistic kunoichi lifted her now empty dango stick like it was a senbon.

"NO WAIT! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY! I'll buy all the dango you want!"

Anko slowly processed the words, and she calmed down. A lecherous grin slowly spread across her face.

" _All_ the Dango I want?"

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

Five minutes later, Anko was in heaven. Naruto was sitting, glumly looking at his empty forget wallet. _Gamma-chan, I'm so sorry._ His money was all gone. Hopefully it would be worth it.

"So, how's life?"

"Umf," With a swallow, Anko finished off her 12th stick of dango. "Right now? Pretty damn good, kid."

 _Yeah, thanks to my poor gama-chan._ Naruto inwardly grumbled.

"Great, so anyway, do you know anything about an interrogation technique that makes a certain person repeat his past life over and over?"

"Chew, chew, gulp. Why do you want to know, brat?"

"Hey I have my reasons. And I just bought you a lifetime's worth of dango, so you owe me."

"Actually closer to 15 minutes worth, but whatever. I'll tell you. There's a technique like that, but it's a genjutsu that makes the victim fill it with details from his past. A mind technique would never work, because it would take the mind walker forever just to even try to get all the details."

"So how does one get rid of it?

"Just like any genjutsu, I guess. The only reason the victim doesn't is because they don't know they're in the genjutsu. There's no torture, just the monotony of repeating things in order to gain intel or some other reason, so they don't suspect until it's too late."

"What if releasing it doesn't work?"

"There's no reason it shouldn't, unless you just suck at dispelling genjutsu."

"Right….so let's say you suck really bad, not that I'm saying I do. Could someone else dispel it for you?"

"Well, if the person had an unaffected friend, that friend could send chakra into you or just bop you on the head. If you guys are in the same genjutsu but one of you know, they just have to flare enough chakra to release you both. Alright kid, I got to go, thanks for the treat!" She got up to leave, but was stopped.

"Wait! Let's say we're in a genjutsu right now. Could you release us?"

"Sure, but why would I? We're not in a genjutsu."

"Just do it…please."

"Nah, see yah kid."

"Alright, I should have known you couldn't do it."

"Excuse me, brat?"

"you heard me."

"Care to make a little wager on it?"

"What, more dango?"

"No, you get to be my lucky little test subject for my new interrogation techniques."

 _Oh, shit. I can't think of thing's I'd rather NOT do! But, if it is that genjutsu she's talking about, I'll be free! And anyway , I can just kill myself if it gets bad and cycle back._

"Hah, you're on!"

"Alright, it's a deal. KAI!" The snake pedophile's student flared her chakra.

"See? Nothing. Now, you're coming with me, a deals a deal!"

"Why me? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?" The distressed new torture subject made a valiant attempt to escape, using only shadow clones to avoid suspicion. Despite his heroic ventures, Anko triumphantly dragged her newly bound tortur-err I mean test subject home.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

A.N: Haha, New chapters every hour this is weird. It definitely won't continue like this, but I'd really appreciate some reviews. It would definitely motivate me to continue.

"Ughh," Naruto groaned as his head throbbed. Where was he? Had he cycled again? He tried to get up, only to discover he was tied down. That was new. He started to enter panic mode when he suddenly remembered. _Oh shit I've to get outta here!_ He struggled against his bonds, but they were pretty damn tight. He craned his neck to see himself in a pitch black room.

"So, you're finally awake, huh brat? Hehehe you're gonna love my new interrogation jutsus."

"Okay, Anko-sama, I know we made a deal, but I'm just a kid!"

"Kid, you're a ninja now, you're headband proves that. And don't call me sama, Naruto- _kun._ It's not gonna make me let you go."

 _Oh come on the one day I wore it! WHY IS MY LUCK SO BAD?_ Well, at least he had an ace in the hole. Time to kill himself, let's see what this girl does to that, ha! Except…Naruto realized he was tied down. He couldn't even move his fingers. Ok, it was time to panic.

"And, we had a binding agreement, so this is all legal. Anyway don't complain kid, we're developing a new branch of techniques called pleasure torture. Know what that means?"

"No, and I don't really care! How about this, I'll supply you with dango for the rest of your life if you let me go."

"Sorry kid, no can do. I needed a subject anyway, and you're pretty cute. I'm going to enjoy this."

"Ohh boy…this is not good."

"Well, let's get started. Believe me kid, you're gonna be on your knees thanking me for this…well, you'll probably be on your knees anyway hehehe."

Poor Naruto was still virgin in both body and mind, and had no idea what she was talking about. But he knew he was in for a rough time.

"Infinite Ecstasy Jutsu!"

"AHHHHHH!"

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Ok, maybe it was pleasurable, but it still left him in the same state as if he'd been tortured painfully. A quivering blob on the floor babbling out for mercy and feeling as though all his insides had been sucked out. The only good side was that he'd picked up some decent jutsus if he ever need to…pleasure some info out of anyone.

"Thanks a bunch, kid! And if you ever want more, come to Auntie Anko!" Anko slammed the door shut on the mess outside her door.

 _Therapy, I need therapy._ The emaciated blonde was rocking back and forth, trying desperately to forget what he had just been through. Sure, people may like orgasms, but having hundreds of them at the hands of Anko was just not right. He'd never look at her the same again. Or at her dango.

He crawled home and fell into bed, exhausted. Well, at least now he had another weapon under his arsenal, just with…unorthodox means.

The next day, he woke up to the harsh ringing of his clock. He managed to refrain from smashing it to bits. He sat up, his mind clouded from sleep. Something wasn't quite right…and no, it wasn't his special Anko-time session, something was bothering him right in the corner of his eye.

His clock!

He had smashed that clock yesterday! Or was it the day before yesterday? Who knew how long Anko had kept him locked up. But why was his clock there? He leapt out of bed to look at the calendar in dread.

August 1st.

What was wrong? He surely hadn't died, unless Anko's…pleasing of him had somehow killed him in his sleep. No, something was wrong. What had gone awry? Time had passed when he passed day one. Day two had been the bell test, which was probably yesterday…if today wasn't actually two days before yesterday…ARGH HIS BRAIN WAS KILLING HIM!

Had missing the bell test somehow warped him back? But why? And why when he was asleep? While many saw him as an idiot, it wasn't quite true. Sure, he had his stupid moments, maybe a little more than others, but he was still decently intelligent. Maybe there was something about the bell test day that was different from the day he woke up. (A.N I screwed up, but its simple. Basically he wakes up on the day the teams are assigned, and then the NEXT day is the day they meet Kakashi for the bell test. Sorry for the confusion, but the story comes first haha.) Ok, so on the day he woke up, the teams were assigned. That was fairly important, but it was just some information that could be passed along.

The next day was the bell test. That was pretty important. It was his first true step in his life to leading to becoming hokage. Maybe that was it. If he failed at key points in his life, did he loop? He had to be sure. _This is gonna be hell, but I'm going to have to redo everything and see what happens if I progress._

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"Iruka-sensei why does a great ninja like me have to be on the same team as Sasuke?" Naruto said in a robotic voice.

"Uh…you ok Naruto?"

"Naruto don't talk to Sasuke-kun like that!"

"Anyway Naruto, you had the worst scores, Sasuke had the…"

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"And don't eat breakfast, or you'll puke."

"Yeah yeah, sure sensei whatever."

Kakashi watched, little perturbed at the seemingly depressed blonde. Since when was Naruto so deadpan? He was so full of energy all the time, and now he pulls a Sasuke?

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"BEGIN!"

 _Finally! I thought I'd never reach this point!_

"Alright, Kakashi sensei! I'm coming for you!"

 _I can't use any suspicious jutsu, so I'll have to exploit his underestimation of me and hope he pegs my victory as sheer luck and his lack of attention!_ Naruto thought determinedly. He charged at Kakashi, secretly making a shadow clone. He transformed it in an instant.

"Shadow clone jutsu!"

Hundreds of shadow clones mobbed Kakashi, and he dropped his porn novel in surprise. Still, it was just Naruto and he dispatched them all with ease. One naruto was left, panting on his bum. Kakashi flicked wired shuriken at him and wrapped him up, effectively leaving him tied up.

"You'll have to do better than that, Naruto." _Oh well, I guess that's his limit._

The jounin went back and picked up his novel, dusting it off. Suddenly, arms wrapped around him, constricting his arms. Bewildered, the former anbu agent looked at the captured Naruto only to see him poof. _A shadow clone! But what's he going to do now? He must know he can't just hold me and somehow take a bell by himself!_ He was about to break out of his students grip and teach him a lesson on thinking ahead when his icha icha novel burst into smoke, to reveal a transformed Naruto. _NO way! When did he…how did he devise such a plan?_

Smirking, Naruto triumphantly held up a bell. Sakura and Sasuke were in a daze. How had the dead last, the loser created so many clones? And that was the least of their confusion. How had he come up with such a genius plan in such short time and execute it perfectly? Naruto just grinned. Sure, it might have been considered cheating to have a few years worth of knowledge and experience, but he doubted there was a rule against time cycles. Besides, it wasn't like it was his choice.

"Naruto…that was…amazing. You created a diversion and managed to deceive me in the chaos. With such an unexpected disguise, you timed it perfectly as well."

"Haha, aw it was nothing! So, do I graduate?"

"Naruto, you have unexpected talent, but no."

"WHAT?! WHY!"

"Naruto, the point of this exercise is teamwork. You beat me, but by yourself. What about your teammates?

 _Aw NO! How could I have forgotten the key part that Kakashi-sensei drilled into me from the start?_ _Future Kakashi-sensei would be disappointed in me. Oh no…_ With a sinking feeling, Naruto suspected this was not the last time he would need to repeat the whole dreaded cycle. Anger blossomed in him, he didn't want to do this all over again! This was torture!

"Hn, loser, look what you did."

"NARUTO YOU IDIOT! YOU JUST MADE SASUKE FAIL THE EXAM AND ITS ALL YOUR FAULT! ARGHH HOW CAN YOU BE SO CARELESS AND SELFISH?!"

Kakashi was about to step in and deliver a scathing lecture on how neither of them had been different, except for being idiots when Naruto beat him to it.

"SHUT UP SAKURA! You are so ANNOYING! Shut up about Sasuke for once and actually think! You did nothing during the test, and neither did your precious Sasuke!" Naruto was so done with this, and he was enraged at the thought of having to do everything all over again. Sakura and Sasuke were not helping in the least.

"SUMMONING JUTSU! Have fun being pancakes under chief toad's ass! HA!"

"…."

"…."

"…?"

*Smack* Naruto face palmed. Of course it hadn't worked! He hadn't signed the contract yet! Well, he had other means.

"Shadow clone jutsu! GIANT RASENGAN!"

Unprepared, all four were ripped apart in the epicenter of the explosion.

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"Just kill me now, I have to do this all over again." Naruto moaned and grabbed his pillow to smother his face in. _This is hell._

He went through the day on autopilot, trying to figure out how he was going to pass Kakashi's test. How was he supposed to use teamwork with an emo who thought he was superior to all and a fan girl who also believed that with all her heart? He supposed he could just do it like he had before, and be fed. But no, he wasn't going to go through life again as the idiot, the loser, the dead last. He'd go through the cycle a hundred times trying to work with his insufferable teammates before he'd let that happen again.

Ok, maybe not a hundred maybe…fifty….or ten…or five. Ah fuck it, he had to get it right this time or he'd go insane.

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"BEGIN!"

Time to implement plan B.

Sasuke and Sakura leapt away, leaving their blonde teammate in the open.

 _Ok, no teamwork whatsoever from the start._ "You're…a little different, you know that?"

Naruto just grinned and stood there. Kakashi warily took out his book, keeping an eye, his only eye on the blonde. His grin and still position unnerved him.

Unbeknownst to the jounin, Naruto was in the woods. He gathered just enough nature energy to sense his teammates, and released it. Sakura was closer, but he went toward Sasuke. It would be easier to convince the pinkette when the love of her life was in agreement with him.

Sasuke crouched in the underbrush. What was his idiot teammate doing? He'd been standing there grinning like an idiot for the past five minutes. Kakashi stood there reading as chill as a popsicle. But on the inside, he grew more and more unsteady.

Suddenly the young Uchiha felt a hand on his mouth and he turned to see Naruto with a finger on his lips. He was released and spat.

"What the hell are you doing here? Wait you're over there!"

"Shadow clone, now shut up. Kakashi-sensei is way too powerful for us to take separately. I doubt we could even take him as a team. So clearly he's testing us on something else, like if we can work together and form a true team."

When the hell did the idiot get so smart? And why did he make sense? He'd figure it out later. Making genin was more important right now.

"Hn, took you long enough, loser."

Naruto gritted his teeth. Like hell that bastard had known all along. He just barely managed to keep in his rage. He had to finish the test.

"Yeah yeah, now let's go get Sakura."

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Sakura was a little creeped out by her teammate. What was he doing out there? By now, Kakashi had a slight tremor in his hand. Naruto's wide grin was becoming more frightening by the minute. So distracted by the terrifying leer from the 12 year old kid, the legendary jounin was oblivious to his team's conspiring.

"Psst, Sakura. Sakura!"

Sakura almost fell off her branch. She turned to see Naruto and Sasuke.

"Naruto? But how? You're over the-"

"Clone. Now, we're going to work together to take him down, ok?"

"Why would I work with you? I'd rather work with Sasuke-kun."

 _My god how the hell did Sakura mature from this…brainless idiot? Thank god she did or I'm sure she'd be dead._

Grinding his teeth, Naruto replied, "We're proving we can work as a team, ok? And Sasuke agrees, so I know you won't have any problem since you would be happy if Sasuke wanted you to go clean every public toilet in Konoha!"

"What? You idiot what do you know about me and Sas-"

"Sakura, shut up. Like the loser said, I'm only using you two useless deadweights to get to genin. If proving we can work as a team is the way to do it, that's what we're going to do, got it?"

"Oh Sasuke, you're so cool! Of course we will, I promise."

Naruto inwardly stabbed himself repeatedly, only he knew that doing so in real life would do him no good. "Ok here's the plan."

Kakashi was sweating hard. His blonde student had been grinning at him for a solid twenty minutes. That grin…what was happening to him? Suddenly he saw his three students jump from the trees and attack him. He knocked down Naruto, only to see it pop into smoke. _Shadow clone!_

"Phoenix flower jutsu!" Miniature fireballs shot at the jounin, and he called up a mud wall. He then saw Sakura charging. He relaxed, the girl had no extraordinary skill whatsoever. To his surprise, Sakura hit him with a vengeance, violent blows raining from her hand. Callous, uncoordinated blow after blow was evaded or blocked by Kakashi until he countered and Sakura burst into smoke to reveal Naruto! _Transformation, of course! Looks like they have teamwork after all._

The grinning clone then charged into action, followed by Sasuke and the real Naruto and Sakura. Sakura launched kunai and shuriken at their sensei, only to be evaded. To his surprise, he saw them come back and nearly slice and dice him. _How-_ Kakashi then saw Sasuke controlling the wires.

"FIRE STYLE! Fire ball jutsu!" A massive fireball flew at Kakashi, and he was about to create a mud wall when a shuriken flew out of the blazing sphere. He pulled out a kunai to block when the shuriken popped into Naruto who layed out the jounin. Unfortunately he was still in the body of a prepubescent teen. Sakura and Sasuke came in to take the bells, but Kakashi easily recovered, and knocked them both down.

 _Amazing, they just showed incredible strategic thinking, and flawless teamwork. Guess I misjudged them after all._ His squad looked up at him in dismay, expecting to hear they failed.

"Team 7…Passes!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

A.N: Thanks to Hanmac and javi30for reviewing! And yeah, disregard the AN last chapter about the days, I'm confusing the hell out of myself XD. Read and REVIEW!

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"Team 7…Passes!"

"YESSSSS!" While the new way of passing had been infinitely more taxing on his patience and nerves, he was so opposed to having to do everything over and over again that passing this time made the victory so much sweeter. Who knew that his teammates could actually work together from the start?

"Hn." Good, he'd made genin. First it was this, then the worl- err, he meant Itachi. That sorry traitor better be ready for him, he was going to deliver the pain. With his new powerful teacher, and his own genius skill, he couldn't fail. He was an avenger! He would never give up.

"What? Not that I'm complaining, sensei, but why did we pass? We never got the bells!" Sakura was confused.

"Did you really expect to beat me, a jounin? No one, not even me would expect that out of newly minted genin, Sakura. The point was to see if you guys could put apart your differences and work together. And you guys proved that in spades!" Kakashi was pleased. Actually, it was better to say he was elated. All those failed teams, sure they had surprisingly matured on their own, but here was a team that had right off the bat exceeded his expectations.

"I guess sensei. So now what?" The pink haired girl flopped down, exhausted. She look up from her sweaty face to see that Sasuke looked slightly fatigued, if the slightly more erratic breathing was anything to go by. She herself was deadbeat. She looked at Naruto. As much as she longed to say Sasuke, she grudgingly knew that somehow, Naruto had been the one to exert the most energy. All those clones and transformations and physical attacks. Yet he was standing there grinning, not looking tired in the least. _Where does he get all that energy?_

"Go home, rest up. Maybe do some team building, up to you." With that, the jounin vanished in a shower of leaves.

"Sasuke-kun, after we've freshened up a little, do you want to go get dinner or something? After all, we are on the same team now." She hopefully glanced up, her toe digging into the ground behind her other foot.

"No." As stone-cold as ever. The raven-haired avenger walked away. _Why can't she just leave me alone? What will it take to get through that thick headed skull of hers? She's even more annoying than Naruto._ The Uchiha headed toward his apartment, not even glancing back at his new teammates.

Sakura drooped. Well, maybe attempt number 1083 would do the trick next time. She would never give up! She then turned around, ready to reject her blonde teammate's plea for a date. Only said teammate was gone. What was up with Naruto? He seemed like himself sometimes, and like a whole new person at other times.

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 _Oh boy, if everything's back the way it's been, then Ichiraku's must be back! And, if this is real life…I have a chance to right every wrong. Man, that's a lot of pressure. It's going to take forever too, oh man I don't know if I can do this._ The jinchuuriki attempted to collect his thoughts. First off, he knew he needed to save the third Hokage. Wait, no he had to stop the invasion. Wait before that! There was ummm…oh yeah he had to save Zabuza and Haku! In the end, they had proved they weren't the evil villains he had thought them out to be. Or at least not anymore. He sighed. This was going to be tough. If only he had someone he could talk to.

Naruto felt a wave of affection and more importantly, the roar in his stomach. _Ramennnnn!_ He saw the stand in the distance and was holding back tears, oh how he had missed ramen.

"Hey, Naruto! How's my favorite customer?"

"Hey old man, I just made genin!"

"Well, congratulations! Tell you what, ramen's on the house today."

"No way! You mean it, old man? You're the best!"

After downing 12 bowls of miso pork ramen, Naruto felt considerably better. He thanked Teuchi and Ayame, and set off for home.

As he walked through the front door, he thought he felt someone behind him. Turning around, he saw no one. _That's a little creepy. Maybe it was a mouse or something. Or one of Sai's ink animals._ He turned around again, thinking maybe it was a message from his root comrade. Only then he remembered where he was. Sai…could he change him from the start? Make him have a happy childhood, away from Danzo's grasp? He could have emotions…but no, it would be too complicated. And they became true friends anyway, despite the harsh beginnings.

A certain indigo-haired kunoichi hid behind a lamp post. _Oh, Naruto-kun. I'm so happy you made genin._ She had initially panicked when she thought her crush had seen her, but he seemed to disregard it as his imagination.

Inside his apartment, Naruto got ready for bed. He had a sense of nervousness. Would time pass again? Or was he stuck in a loop of only two days? That was a hell he had never imagined. He got into bed. How the hell was he supposed to sleep now?

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RING RING RING

Naruto instantly bolted awake. That night had not been pleasant. Most of it was spent tossing and turning, until due to pure anxiety of seeing the morning, he fell asleep. He raced to the calendar.

August 3'd.

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!" The genin was overjoyed. It seemed that there was another factor in time cycling. Not only did death cause a loop, but it seemed if he missed or failed something that was a key point in his life, the next day was the first for him.

So as long as he didn't mess up, he wouldn't need to go through the whole unbearable repeat again. No pressure or anything.

He got up, showered, ate, dressed and set out for the day. As a "new" member of the "new" team 7, he had things to do. Actually, he didn't really recall anything important in his life that required his attention. No mission had been announced.

As if on que, Kakashi dropped by. Naruto fidgeted, he hoped it wasn't mission time. He wanted to go information-gathering, and he wasn't sure whether a simple mission was a crucial part of his life. He wanted to know, but it wasn't worth having to do everything over again. If only he could decide what point to loop back to.

"Yo, Naruto. I'm here to tell you to meet me and your team at training grounds 3."

"Aw why? Is it important?" Naruto whined at the unwanted surprise.

"Naruto, everything I tell you to do is important, got it?" With that, the masked man vanished without a trace."

Naruto stalked towards the grounds, grumbling all the while at his misfortune.

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"Ugh, where is that loser? We've been waiting here for half an hour!"

 _Wow, Sasuke-kun is so cool! He look so dark and handsome when he's angry…_

"Forget that idiot, what I want to know is where our teacher is. Is he always going to be late?!"

No reply. Sakura was used to it and fumed as each minute passed. Finally, when she could take it no longer, a blonde head poked up from the horizon. Finally!

"NARUTO! Why are you so late? Do you have any idea how long me and Sasuke-kun have been waiting here?" Shrieked the enraged girl.

Naruto had taken his sweet time, griping and dragging his feet. His already spoiled mood was not at all helping his patience. Sakura had picked the wrong time to explode.

"Shut up! I have better things to do than be here with your loud mouth."

Sakura stood there with her mouth wide open. What was happening? The first few times were baffling, but it could be from bad moods. Now it seemed like a stranger had taken over Naruto's body.

In a swirl of leaves, their teacher arrived.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. I was-"

"LIAR!" Sakura knew enough by now to know his excuses were all lies. "Stop making excuses and just stop being late!"

Kakashi sweat dropped. _What happened to the teamwork I saw yesterday?_ All he saw was a brooding prodigy, a sulking blonde, and an angered pinkette. It was like combing dynamite with oil, and topping it off with gunpowder. _This is going to be a long day._ Kakashi bemoaned in his head.

"Right, guys. We have a mission so pay attention."

At this, the three seemed to perk up. Real ninja missions? _Hehe,_ the jounin sadly laughed in his head. _Wait till they see what their mission is. And the 500 after this one._

"Right, follow me."

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The three genin looked up in dismay at the fence in front of them.

"Our mission is to paint this?!" Sakura wailed. This would take all day!

Sasuke inwardly fumed. How was this going to make him strong enough to beat Itachi?

Naruto had a chagrined expression plastered on his face. How could he have forgotten the horrid first few weeks of being a genin? D-rank mission after D-rank mission, and he had to do it AGAIN?!

"Well, get to it guys. I'll check in on your progress from time to time."

All three had the same thought: _This is what it means to be a ninja?_

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Two fences, a lost ring, and whole wardrobe of clothes washed later, the three spent genin were huddling in exhaustion. This was slave labor!

"Hey, guy! Good job, now the next mission is to clean up a wrecked house for renovation."

Approaching the site, the team saw in apprehension a piles of massive rubble amidst a basement-shaped hole in the ground.

"Kakashi-sensei, we're just genin! How are we supposed to get rid of those huge rocks?" Naruto cleverly complained. Sure, he knew he could use chakra-enhanced strength, or a jutsu. But he refrained because this was the perfect excuse for the newbie ninja everyone thought he was!

"Ah, almost forgot!" The one eyed man took out a bin with three hammers, chisels, and gloves. Then he pointed at nearby wheelbarrows.

"You'll use these to make the rocks smaller and haul them out with those."

Just as Sasuke and Sakura were about to revolt, Naruto had his own rebellion in his head. Pushing caution aside, he yelled, "MULTI SHADOW CLONE JUTSTU!"

Hundreds of Naruto's appeared, and raced into action. Within the hour, the work that would have taken longer than the rest of the day was done. They dispelled in a huge cloud of white vapor, revealing a haggard looking, but otherwise happy blonde.

Despite herself, Sakura couldn't help but feel a rush of gratitude at Naruto. Sure, he was an inept knucklehead, but he had his moments.

"Thanks, Naruto! I guess even you have your pros, huh?"

 _Seriously? I go through all that and all she says is maybe I'm not useless? What's it going to take to change her mind, a freight train to the face?_ Naruto was not so happy at his teammate's thanks.

"Thanks, Sakura. You're undying gratitude means a lot to me."

Sakura blushed, embarrassed as she had to admit she was taking his kind gesture (Which was actually a desperate ploy to relieve the boredom of the D-rank missions) for granted. She somehow managed to forget about Sasuke at the moment, leaving about 99% of her brain free to think about her actions. What was the other 1% about? Sasuke…somehow.

"S-sorry, Naruto. But thanks again for taking care of this, I'm dead beat."

Naruto's eyes widened in disbelief, and his eyebrow raised suspiciously. Had Sakura just apologized to him? And acted like an actual human? Maybe her future partial transformation wasn't such an enigma after all. He found he didn't really dislike the current Sakura when she was like this. His isolation yearned out, and he wondered…could he change her? Trust her? He was broken out of his thoughts when Sasuke spoke.

"Hn. Might as well make yourself useful, loser." Sasuke drawled out. In spite of himself, he was angry. How had the incompetent fool managed to make so many shadow clones, and do all that labor after all those previous missions? He had to get stronger, not that Naruto could possibly challenge him in any way. Better to be safe.

"Aw, shaddup you ungrateful bastard!"

"Hn, make me" The Uchiha slowly strut away with a slouch.

"Why you- come here and I'll wipe that stupid smirk right off your emo face!"

"Care to repeat that to my face?"

"Yeah: You're a total asswipe who can't say thank you for his life!"

The two were about to exchange blows, when Kakashi stopped them. _Sigh, their teamwork is going to need a lot of fixing. I guess that first test was a spoof._

"C'mon guys, you're a team now. Act like it."

"Hn."

"But he started it!"

"I don't care who started it, I expect the other to be mature enough to end it, and I know both of you are capable of that, ok?" The jounin eye-smiled.

"Fine, I'd rather be eating ramen anyway than dealing with this jerk." Naruto stormed away.

Sasuke simply walked off. Kakashi sweat dropped as he watched them. _Is ramen all he eats? And these two, they're like water and fire. And then there's Sakura, who's adding oil to the fire; luckily it's not like Sasuke really acknowledges it, although it's probably where he gets his sense of superiority from._

"Kakashi-sensei, do we have a mission tomorrow?"

Kakashi left his thinking with a start, he'd forgotten his pink-haired student.

"Ahh yeah. Um…you're not going to like them though."

 _More D-rank missions! Oh man, if it weren't for Sasuke-kun, being a kunoichi wouldn't be worth it._

After a heavy goodbye, both master and student walked towards their respective homes, one trudging in dread, and the other walking and reading his po-err great literature.

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C'mon people, review, tell me what you think! It's a little early, but if you have any preferences in pairings let me know. I promise to continue if you do.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

A.N: Read and review!

Batrs940: Thanks for reviewing! And hot damn that's an…interesting ending, I never finished chunnin exam day, although I plan to. I stopped after the rather bizarre wedding scene.

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"Ahh, that's good." We find our hero finishing his 10th cup of instant ramen. He let out a burp and decided it was probably time for bed.

He put on his nightcap, and laid his head down on his pillow. Would time pass? He thought he'd done everything right. Only time would tell. He was trying to sleep, but thoughts kept spearing through the sleepy fog he was attempting to create.

Sakura…sure, she was annoying as hell right now, but maybe with a different attitude and a few showings of his power, she wouldn't treat him like an idiot. But it was mainly her obsession with a certain Uchiha that really affected her. Heck, even his Sakura was stupid when it came to that. He could still remember the face-palm moment when he had fought Sasuke after the Five Kage Summit.

 _Kakshi was racing as fast as he could, and saw Sasuke holding a chidori behind Sakura, who was standing in front of a red-headed girl. NO! He was going to kill her! With a burst of speed, he grabbed Sasuke's hand._

 _Sakura was shaken. 'He-he was actually going to kill me!'_

 _Later, as Sakura was about to be punctured by a kunai by the same rogue shinobi, Naruto burst out and snatched her away._

 _'He-he really meant to kill me!'_

 _…NO shit Sakura! How many attempts does he have to make at your life before you see that?!_

Yup, Sakura's IQ dropped significantly when the Uchiha was concerned. Speaking of Sasuke, what was he going to do about him? Could he change his key points in life? Was it only if he damaged them enough to halt his progress in life that he looped? If he couldn't change things, this would become a tragic reality to live in. He wanted to stop Sasuke so bad. He had felt a mix of feelings at his future Sasuke. Never hate, maybe an angry pity at him for the darkness that had corrupted his friend's soul, but after his exchange of verbal blows today, he felt the same hate he had felt back then at the pompous duck-head. But also the same old comradery, Sasuke treated him like dirt, but not because of the fox. He just saw Naruto as beneath him.

Prove that wrong, and he and the Uchiha would become the best of friends. And then he would try to kill Naruto. Naruto could feel a headache coming on. What could he do? Save the Uchiha, and his life would take a whole new path, who knew which direction, good or bad.

And back to Sakura. Could he trust her? Maybe. But he'd need to prove he wasn't a bumbling blonde anymore. And he needed more jutsu, more reserve. He couldn't use much of his current arsenal, if you could call it that. Really, all he had was Sage mode, kyuubi mode which was kinda useless at the moment without Kurama, various forms of rasengan, and mass amounts of shadow clones. If he could find a decent teacher, be it a ninja or scrolls, he could learn it quickly with his shadow clones.

But who could he ask? Of course! Kakashi sensei. He was said to have copied 1000 jutsu's. It was a plan.

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"Ahhh," the blonde yawned as he stretched. He wiped his sleepy eyes and got out of bed. He hopefully glanced at the calendar, and it read:

August 4th.

Come to think of it, how did his calendar set the date? It was paper! He lifted the sheet to see a 5 under it. But where were the previous dates? That was weird. Did it have to do with his currently messed up life? Well, he had bigger problems. This was actually beneficial when he thought about it.

Well, he could do with some breakfast. He'd treat himself, it was ramen time! He prepared the simple meal, and watched the clock for the time it took to wait for the noodles to cook. When it was finally time, he eagerly ripped off the paper lid.

"Thank you for the food!"

He began to dig in when suddenly a gloved hand stopped him. He looked up in anger, ready to defend his precious treasure from the thief when he saw it was Kakashi sensei.

"What are you doing, sensei?"

"Hey, Naruto, just popping in. Listen, do you eat anything else but ramen?"

"Uh yeah!"

"Like?"

"…Milk?"

The former anbu sweat dropped. _Seriously? Guess this visit isn't unwarranted, then._

"Here." The jounin placed a basket of vegetables on Naruto's table.

"Eh? What are these?"

"Look Naruto, a ninja can't live on just ramen. After all, you can't become hokage if you die from eating too much fast food."

 _Seriously? That's all it took to motivate me back then, hokage this hokage that? Sure, to be hokage is my dream, but this nasty stuff won't do that for me!_

"Thanks, but no thanks sensei. I'm just fine with ramen."

"Look, Naruto. I'm not sure how you've survived this long, but you need to eat your veggies!"

"Bleh, I refuse!"

 _Fine, it comes to this._ "Alright, Naruto. If that's the way you want it." The jounin left.

Naruto happily returned to his beloved, when a strong pair of arms grabbed him from behind. One arm locked him in a deadly embrace, and the other grabbed a piece of celery from the basket.

"Cough, Ka-kashi sensei?" The blonde gasped out.

"Naruto, I didn't want it to come to this, but YOU WILL EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!"

Kakashi felt an almost family-like tie to the young jinchuuriki. After wallowing in despair from Obito and Rin's deaths, and his failures, he snapped out of it and felt enormous guilt from not taking better care of his master's legacy. It wasn't a son-type feeling, more like a bigger brother.

"Gasp, never! I-I'll never e-eat that slop! I'd rather not become hokage!" Naruto wasn't serious of course, he just really didn't want to eat the raw vegetables.

Kakashi didn't know that however, and looked at him, aghast. He dropped the celery and smacked his student. "NEVER LET ME HEAR YOU SAY THAT AGAIN!"

Woah, that was a bit extreme. Well, at least he'd dropped his celery.

"Now, you're going to finish this celery, and maybe if you're good I won't make you finish the whole basket today."

"WHAT? The whole basket?!" No no no, he couldn't do that, never!

Kakashi's gloved hand drew precariously close to Naruto's mouth bringing the green produce closer.

Naruto snapped.

"NOOOOO YOU CAN"T MAKE ME!" He burst out of Kakashi's arms in an incredible show of strength, and leapt out the window.

The stunned jounin just stared. Then he sweat dropped. _Is it really that bad? This is a pretty extreme exaggeration, even by his standards. You'd think I'm force feeding him worms or something._

Unbeknownst to Kakashi, Naruto had eaten worms. Many of them in fact, during his training at Mount Myoboku. Needless to say, in his opinion it ranked right up there with the worms. If he had ever actually eaten vegetables before. But he knew it would be awful.

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How had such a small, insignificant issue been blown out of proportion like this? Kakashi ruefully chuckled, leave it to Naruto to do that. What to do? Force feeding Naruto wasn't a very appealing prospect. He mused on the many ways he could influence Naruto's ingestion of healthy foods when it hit him.

He was in charge of a team! He could assign an unofficial mission, but he'd have to pay to make it seem otherwise. Oh well, if it got Naruto to stop willfully give himself diabetes, it'd be worth it.

He met the other two members of team 7 where he had told them to meet beforehand.

"Where's Naruto?" Sakura asked. Was he sick? Wait, why was she worrying about him? Her only concern was right by her! Ok, he was actually brooding a few yards away leaning on a tree looking like Sakura was the last thing on his mind. Whatever, but why was she concerned about Naruto? It confused her that she suddenly felt something other than fleeting gratitude or annoyance at him.

"Well, let me start from the beginning. How'd you guys like a C- rank mission?

Sakura leapt up in joy. Sasuke smirked. Obviously his excellence had shown. No matter that his idiotic teammate was missing, in fact maybe it was the absence of his incompetent ass that they were being assigned this mission. Oh how wrong he was.

"Your mission is…to make Naruto eat some vegetables. If necessary, force will be allowed."

"…"

"…come again?"

"Did I stutter?"

Sakura and Sasuke sweat dropped. Really? This was the mission they'd gotten so hyped up about?

"How is this different from those useless D-rank missions?" The self-proclaimed avenger exclaimed.

"Well, the pay is better. And this looks better on your file." Kakashi sweated internally. Hopefully his students would never check that.

Hmm, this was true, the raven-haired youth conceded. Come to think of it, did the blonde ever eat anything other than the ramen he never shut up about? Whatever, a C-class mission with all the perks and none of the struggle was a no-brainer. Other than the insult to his level of skill of course, this was beneath him. Oh he was going to proven so so very wrong…again.

Sakura was confused. What did vegetables have to do with Naruto? Kakashi answered when he saw the look on her face.

"Ramen isn't healthy, Sakura. God knows why he eats so much of it, but if he continues, he's going to feel the after effects sooner or later. Well, good luck. And word of advice, don't take this lightly. After all, this IS your first C-rank mission." Finishing, Kakashi disappeared in a whirlwind of leaves.

Sakura and Sasuke stared at each other. The Uchiha had loosened a bit, as the blonde surprised him and Sakura had lately stopped being so annoyingly persistent. Sure, the loser's skill increase bothered him, but it notched up his respect a bit too.

"Alright, Sasuke-kun, what do we do? We need a plan."

"How about we jump him, tie him to a chair, burn all his ramen, and shove some broccoli down his throat?" It seemed simple to Sasuke. This wasn't worth more thinking than required.

Sakura sweat dropped. _Ok, that could work, if Naruto was a stubborn animal. I don't think he'll appreciate being choked with vegetables by his own teammates. Hmm…what to do?_

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A.N: You're probably thinking, what the hell does this vegetable stuff have to do with this story? Its just a fun little "omake," if you will while I'm coming up with the plot line for the land of waves arc. To save Haku and Zabuza or to no? Tis the question, haha. Read and review!

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	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

A.N: If you're wondering why I'm updating like there's no tomorrow, it's because of summer reading. I procrastinate like a madman, and I hate it. I really should finish the American Revolution…and do those 3 essays…nah I've got this to do! But I only have a week left. How about this, If I magically reach 5 more review by Wednesday, I'll keep writing. If not, I'll continue when I can after the grueling summer reading.

Ok, so thanks to everyone who reviewed! Addressing all your advice, let's start with Haku and Zabuza. It seems saving them is wanted, or at least attempting to. So I think I'll let Naruto be partly successful, saving Haku. But what would she do? Maybe she would stay in the land of waves. And yes, I know that the starting point is wayyyy back. My reason for this is so later on he uses this time to train, only doing the needed parts of his life which I'll either summarize or not include at all to save the repetitiveness. Unless you guys all want him to respawn back to the last important key point he successfully completed. Let me know.

Naruto will be beg the hokage for the c class mission when he is done with D-rank missions for good, like last time. Only will it work? You'' just have to find out.

Thanks for all the positive (And helpful input) reviews guys!

Shadow of God: Wow, lots of reviews XD. Yeah, read above for my idea on the early spawn point. And I don't think I want to make him anti-social. Sure, he'll be upset that saving people is nearly impossible, and the loneliness will get to him. But he never gives up, so I'll come up with something. And no pairing? Hmm, I can definitely see why you would think that would ruin it. Truthfully, I have no idea how to incorporate one or more without ruining the plot.

Thanks again, guys! And also, is anyone else's traffic counter broken? My views haven't changed since the day I published this story.

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 _Ok, well I guess Sasuke's plan isn't doomed to fail, it just needs to be a bit less…extreme._

"Ok, Sasuke-kun. But shouldn't we try to convince him first, as his teammates? And then we can try making him eat, but I don't think force feeding him will really work that well…"

Ugh, why was his annoying fan girl arguing? This wasn't worth this much planning! Sure, it was a C-class mission, his first, but still. Since when did making a kid clean his plate require elaborate strategizing? Well, if he couldn't use his original plan, he wouldn't use it at all. He'd put his genius mind to work. This was still way too easy, it was sure to work.

He would find out very soon if that was true.

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 _Oh man, that was close._ The blonde was huddling near Ichiraku's. How had Kakashi done it? Had he brainwashed them?

5 minutes ago:

"Hey, old man! You wouldn't believe what I've been through this morning. Hit me up with a bowl, please!"

"Coming right up, Naruto!"

A minute later, Naruto was handed a steamy bowl of rameny goodness. Ahh, this was the stuff! He split some chopsticks and began to tear in. Oh yeah, the broth was spot on! The noodles were nice and chewy, and the boiled cabbage leaves were…wait BOILED CABBAGE LEAVES?!

"Ptoo! Ugh EWW!" Naruto spat out the offending morsel.

"Hey old man! You messed up my ramen. There's this… _thing_ in here!"

"Oh, Naruto, that's just some healthy veggies! You need them to be strong, and believe me it tastes just fine with ramen, your favorite!"

"Hell no! Did Kakashi-sensei put you up to this?"

"…uh….no?"

"LIAR!" Naruto leapt out of the stall and started hopping from roof to roof.

"WAIIIIIIIT NARUTO! I PROMISE IT TASTES-" Teuchi sighed. The boy was long gone. Well, if even ramen couldn't do the trick, god help whoever tried next.

Naruto was out of breath, and crouched down panting. He looked up to see two figures in the distance. Sakura? And was that Sasuke? Wait, they were together? He didn't hear anything about a mission, so why was that? Woah, no way, did Sasuke actually agree to a date? Only one way to find out. He ran up to them.

"Hey, are you guys on a date?"

Oh how Sakura wished.

"Hn, as if. We're here for you, Naruto."

"For me? Why?"

"Look, loser, just come with us. We need your…help." Even while lying, Sasuke had to shove that through his teeth.

"Um…ok?" Naruto glanced at Sakura out the corner of his eye. She looked a little off, maybe nervous? Hmm.

Sakura and Sasuke led him to Sasuke's apartment. Naruto looked around, he'd never been here before. What was in the secretive dwelling of his arch-nemesis of the past?

Well…nothing much it seemed. It looked pretty bare, with the basic necessities for living. But forget that, look at the dining table! It was plain, brown wood, but what was on it was important. Ramen? What was going on? Was this some kind of trick? Sasuke saw the look and quickly answered.

"Kakashi wanted us to build teamwork yesterday. Sakura came up with this, saying you would likely bond much sooner with this tras-um, treat in your stomach."

"Wow, thanks guys!" With ramen in mind, Naruto's brain shrunk. All he could think about was the ramen. He was starving! He reached out and slurped up some noodles. Ew, the texture was spot on but…the taste! It tasted like…well actually he had no idea he'd never eaten it before. He spat it out in disgust.

"What the hell did you put in this ramen?"

"Ugh, I knew this wouldn't work!"

"Hn, this isn't my plan's fault. You must have screwed up the genjutsu, man could you be any more useless?"

Naruto realized he'd been tricked. Why the hell was everyone trying to get him to eat veggies?

"Why you lousy jerks! I trusted you guys, and you pull this off? And next time if you decide to do this for some reason, work on your genjutsu, Sakura, it tasted like trash!"

 _What did that little punk just say? That's it I have an idea for that knuckle head, CHA!_ Inner Sakura had a devious plan, and outer Sakura was only happy to oblige for payback to the rude blonde.

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"Yes, I'd like to buy all your instant ramen, ok? IS that problem?"

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Naruto had had it with this whole nonsense. He rushed home after trying to confront Kakashi-sensei about the whole mess, but to no avail. When he walked in however, the lights wouldn't turn on. _That's weird, why isn- AH!_

The blonde felt himself being constricted and shoved down. Then the lights turned on to reveal him tied to a chair with wire by Sasuke. Sakura stood nearby. Of all the freaking, if this was a ploy to get him to eat veggies, this was the last straw.

"Hello, Naruto. How are you doing?" Sakura sweetly asked. If one payed attention however, they would notice the underlying menace hidden in her words.

Sasuke had to admit, this was a good plan. It was evil, too but it had cost him some money and time. Whatever, he wasn't going to fail his first C-rank mission because of his idiot teammate.

"Look, if you're going to force feed me, it won't work. Just let me go!"

"Oh, Naruto, we would never do such a thing!" Sakura gave a sugary smile, and moved to reveal a pile of instant ramen.

Uh…what? What was going on? Was this some kind of reward if he ate veggies?

"Now, here's the basket Kakashi-sensei gave you. And as for making fun of my genjutsu, that has nothing to do with this, I feel no enjoyment of this Naruto." She lied, but hey, it was her duty to finish the mission through whatever means, right?

"Now, eat."

"…Um, I'm tied up?"

Sakura looked at Sasuke expectantly. Oh hell no, he wasn't hand-feeding that loser like a baby! Sakura gave him a look that said, "Do you want to pass the mission or not?" He sighed, he almost preferred D-rank missions at this point.

"Open up, loser."

"Like hell!"

"Alright then, Naruto." Sakura smiled and started dousing the ramen in gasoline.

"What, NO! Sakura, stop! Sakura-chan, please no, don't do that, NOOO!"

"Naruto, this isn't just the ramen in your apartment, this is the ramen from everywhere in Konoha! And no shipments until next month."

Naruto suddenly felt very cold. No..NO! HIS RAMEN-CHAN! Was the sacrifice of his taste buds worth it? But wait, he had Ichiraku's! He could just pretend to eat the hidden veggies. It would be hard, but he could do this.

"D-do your worst!" Naruto's attempt at a strong face was a trembling, weak reply.

"Ok then!" Sakura nodded at Sasuke.

"Phoenix flower justu!" Mini fire balls flew at the ramen. Of course, such a jutsu indoors also caused a few flash fires and a bit of damage. Well, it was all due to the mission. Right.

Naruto died a little inside, barely managing to hold back from snapping at the sight of his beautiful ramen burning.

"Oh, and did I mention that Ichiraku's is only serving vegetarian ramen now?"

"…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

And so our hero finally tasted the horrendous bane of his existence for the first time. Needless to say, he hated it with a passion. But he knew the consequences if he didn't.

Sakura and Sasuke were very pleased at completing their first C-class mission. Although Kakashi made them fix up Naruto's apartment, which kind of resembled his previous pile of ramen that Sakura had…sacrificed for the good of the mission.

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After several days of being pretty much catatonic during the D-rank missions, Naruto remembered about increasing his arsenal. He pestered Kakashi-sensei about it, but he'd always talk about teamwork first. It was getting him no where. How could he get the treasure trove of jutsu's locked in his teacher's, well not so much of a teacher but whatever, mind? Wait…minds…the Yamanaka clan! They could do that kind of stuff, right?

He found Ino at the flower shop and stepped in.

"Uh, what are you doing here Naruto?"

"Uh…hey Ino. I was wondering…canyoushareyourclanjutsuwihtme?"

"…what?"

"Can you um, you know, share your clan technique with me?"

"What? NO! It's a clan secret, and I doubt you could learn it anyway!"

"PLEEAASSEE it's for a good cause, I promise!"

"Heck no!"

Naruto knew he needed more than just an open plea. But what could he do? What would Ino want in return? What was she into? Well, that much was obvious. Sasuke! Hmmm, an evil glint shined in his eye. He knew what to do.

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Sasuke was in his apartment, eating some rice balls when his doorbell rang. Outside was a scroll, but it was off his door step. He stepped out and as he bent over to pick it up, he thought he heard a click behind him. He whirled, but saw nothing. Hmm, the scroll was empty. What the hell was this? Stupid pranks, if he knew who did it he'd make them pay for wasting his time.

Naruto gagged. Taking the picture of Sasuke's…rear in that position was awkward and nasty, but he had to do it. All day he manipulated Sasuke to take pics, until the Uchiha was ready to kill. It finally ended when Sasuke went to the bathroom to pee when he heard the click again. What the hell was going on? Whatever, not important, he needed to find who was bothering him all day. He'd make him suffer, oh yes.

By now poor Naruto was close to dying. He'd thrown up at the last picture, and furiously scrubbed his eyes, which did nothing but make him temporarily blind. He felt weak and nauseous, if this didn't work he'd payed a terrible price for nothing. He staggered back to Ino.

"Naruto, what are you doing back here? I told you no!"

"Ino, how about this? Will these change your mind?"

Naruto handed a file to her, labeled.."Disturbing?"

"uh…what's this?"

"Just, *gag* open it."

Ino hesitantly did, and it was like a heavenly light flowed out from the photos. Stars appeared in her eyes, and she had a perverted grin on her face.

"Na-naruto how did you get these?"

"Please never ask that again."

"So…I can keep these if I teach you some jutsu?"

"yeah."

"And you won't tell anyone, right?"

"Believe me, you don't have to worry about that. If anything I wish I could just forget." Whatever, it was worth it! Now he could learn Kakashi's jutstu's! Ino tucked away her Sasuke smut away tenderly.

"Ok, then. I guess we'll start right now, let's got to the training grounds." She wanted to get to her crush's photos as soon as possible.

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"Ok, I'm only going to teach you one jutstu, I mean I'm breaking the clan rules as it is. What do you want to learn? Mind transfer?"

"Do you have one to read memories? Like jutsu's or something?"

"Um, the mind walk jutsu might work, but I don't know it. I can get you my dad's scroll on it though."

"Ok that'd be great!"

"Ok, meet me here tomorrow then." Haha, now to go look at her Sasuke-kun!

Naruto sweat dropped as he watched Ino race back home. _Man, I almost feel bad for the bastard._

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Omake:

Ino locked herself in her room and began giggling. These pictures were so great! How had Naruto gotten them? Whatever, she didn't care she felt amazing right now.

She became depressed when she came to the last picture. Well, hopefully it would be good. She turned it around and nearly fainted. Wait…where was his dick?

O_o

A.N: Hope you enjoyed, the omake isn't real haha, so don't worry. (or be disappointed lol)


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

A.N: Thanks for all the reviews! Guess summer reading is going on hold. To address some certain points raised up:

Yeah, I agree that checkpoints would make the struggle less important. I'll just glaze over the things that are repeated so you don't have to read the same thing over and over and bore you guys.

I get nervous when I write humor, so thanks for the compliments!

Thor94: You're right, dude. I was planning to have pairings but it was hard to mix it with the plot, so I put it on hold right now. You can't put three genres so I put humor on hold, but I switched them now. And if you have a problem with my humor, just don't read. And I know its not 100% serious. I want it to be a mix, I'm sorry if I made it so it seemed like a non-serious comedy. Besides, why so serious?

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It took a while, but he had the mind walk down pat. Ok, maybe not, but he could get it to work most of the time. If it weren't for the fact that he was much more experienced than the average genin, he'd be hopelessly confused. Not that he wasn't confused anyway, but he got he got the basic concept. You had to send your inner consciousness embalmed in chakra to prevent it from dissipating by establishing physical contact with the target's head. Luckily, he had some experience with similar circumstances by having his mindscape containing Kurama. Speaking of Kurama…he missed his recently made friend. He hadn't had much time to focus his attention on his missing half. It didn't help that D- rank mission littered in between, along with rejections for training from Kakashi-sensei. He was almost at his limit.

Well, it was time. With the new jutsu he would be able to be stronger, more noticed and not be forced to kill himself when things went wrong. He usually required sufficient motivation to get going, and few things pressed him as much as the thought of repeating the whole grueling cycle again.

Well, he had to find his sensei. But how? Aside from bumping into him, Naruto had never actually tried to find the elusive jounin. What attracted him from his daily life? The only thing he seemed to enjoy as a hobby was reading Jiraiya's smut. Hmm. The only other obsession he had was keeping his face hidden. He remembered tailing his sensei to try to see when he would take it off, but he had constantly eluded them. Maybe he could sacrifice a loop to see what it was…eh not worth it. Only if he knew he was going to loop he would try.

But hold on! He suddenly recalled one of the times that the sharingan wielder had evaded them. What was it? _Oh yeah! He was all excited about his makeout paradise book, and then he turned out to see something. Something about having to order tickets in advance? Maybe it was a movie._ Ha, well he knew what to do now.

Five minutes later, he and his shadow clones had successfully posted notes about a preview for the next book in the icha icha series. He waited in the disclosed location with a slip of paper he had quickly jotted down. He knew enough during his training with pervy sage to write a few tidbits that would probably catch Kakashi's interest. He would give it to him as compensation if he succeeded.

It was almost sad how fast he suddenly heard footsteps rapidly approaching him.

Kakashi had swiftly arrived, uncharacteristically eager. His eye drooped when he saw Naruto. He had ditched a meeting with the Hokage for this? Oh man, he was going to hear some choice words if the third found out.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei!"

Said man looked up at his in depression.

"Naruto, was this an elaborate plot to get me to train you? I told you, teamwork first. And this is very immature of you to deceive me like this!" Aw who cared about that. He was really just upset that his hopes had been lifted and then crushed.

"Oh haha, don't worry sensei. I actually do have a preview! Here, come closer and lean your head toward me. Anyway, I was just thinking…'MIND WALK JUTSU'!" Naruto leapt at his teacher and activated the jutsu. He found himself in his teacher's mind.

"YESS! IT WORKED!" Now, to find the elusive jutus's he needed. Where to go? He really was a novice at this, he had no idea what to do. Maybe walk, or he guessed floating towards the brighter patch of the weird world of his sensei's mind would do something. Only after taking 3 steps he met a barrier that smacked him in the conker, and he was swept off his feet to land in the real world again.

"Uh, Naruto, you ok?" All the jounin knew was that his student just leapt at him and touched his head before falling on the ground moaning.

 _Was that some kind of mental defense mechanism?_ _Look at Kakashi-sensei, he doesn't even look fazed. Is he faking?_ Unknown to the blonde, his paltry attempt at the mind walk jutsu had been so weak the jounin hadn't even noticed he had repelled it.

"ugh…Oh yeah I'm fine hahaha...oh yeah, here's the preview."

"Naruto, this looks like a scribbled note from an academy class."

"Uhhh that's probably because the author was quickly jotting ideas. I saw it drop out of Perv- I mean a white haired old man's pocket.

 _Master Jiraiya? This must be authentic then!_ The jounin mask spread in what appeared to be a wide grin and he embraced his student.

"Thank you so much Naruto! You have no idea how much this means to me, heck I'll even teach you a jutsu!"

"Really? Wow thanks!"

"Yeah, I got to go though, right now. You need your rest after putting up all those poster I bet." Kakashi practically skipped away, holding up the note in glee and giggling.

Naruto sweat dropped. _Need my rest my ass. I shouldn't have given him that sneak peek. He's probably going to be reading that for the rest of today._

It was time for a new plan. And to cry. A lot. His sacrifice of his mind's sanity after his payment to Ino had been for nothing.

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Naruto let out a sigh of defeat. He held back tears at the tragic sight. His frog wallet was empty, kaput, devoid of a single ryo. Why? The answer lay at his feet. 10 bags of sweet, syrupy dango. It was time to enter the lion's den. The seductive, sex-crazed sadistic lioness's den. Hoo boy.

KNOCK KNOCK

His hand trembled a bit as he knocked in trepidation of what awaited him.

The door swung open, revealing a scantily dressed, sexy, purple headed kunoichi.

"Uhh hey um…euuhhh…A-aunty Anko…"

"Aunty? What's with the name, kid?"

 _Oh shit._ He'd forgotten that he had looped last time, meaning her session with him hadn't happened. Well, it still left its mark on him!

"Um, I meant hey there Anko…do you think you could help me with some interrogation techniques? Like getting information out of people?"

"And why would I do that?"

He nudged the 10 bags of her favorite treat with his foot at her. Stars appeared in her eyes and she started bawling in joy.

"Oh my sweet babies! Come here, Momma's gonna take good care of ya!" She looked at Naruto and beamed. She was liking this kid!

"Alright kid, who's this interrogation for?"

"umm do you need to know?"

"Uh, kinda, yeah."

"It's for Kakashi-sensei."

"WHAT?! Why? Isn't he your teacher?"

"I guess, but he won't teach me anything so I was going to interrogate the shit out of him to get some jutsu."

 _Hmmm Im really starting to like this kid. He's got potential, and I do need a test subject for my pleasure techniques._

"Alright, tell you what kid, I'll help you. On two conditions."

"Oh come on! I wasted my life savings on that dango!"

"Yeah and I'm risking my career to help you. Now, I want you to promise never to tell anyone of this."

"O…k?"

"And…I want you to be my test subject!"

"Oh hell no!" _Never again!_

"Alright then, maybe I should go visit your sensei and tell him a tale of a certain jutsu-stealing brat."

Oh that was it. He'd force it out of her if he had to. He had her techniques after all, from the torture he had endured that had never happened…ugh that was confusing.

"Infinite ecstasy jutsu!" Ha, let's see how the witch bitch liked her own medicine!

Anko was writhing on the ground seemingly in pleasure. Until she sat up and smirked.

"Did you think that I wouldn't be protected from my own techniques?"

 _How did the brat learn that jutsu? I thought I came up with it. Hmm, maybe he's a secret pervert! Although how a novice like him came up with that jutsu is beyond me._ Ah, whatever. All it meant was that her test subject had just become much more interesting. Hell, they could have even more _fun_ haha.

Naruto panicked. How had he not thought of that? Oh man, he had to escape. He'd find another way to get jutsu. It wasn't worth it!

"Haha, just kidding! I've really got to go though, so enjoy the dango its on m-"

"Cellular orgasm jutsu!"

Naruto had one last thought before exploding in pleasure. _This was a terrible mistake._

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Once again, our hero is found outside Anko's doorstep shivering. Who knew that each individual cell could have an orgasm? He felt like his insides had been blended after the excruciatingly pleasant sensation had stopped. Not to mention the other techniques.

 _Earlier:_

Naruto woke up to a familiar scene. Only this time, he was chained to a bed in a lit up room. Anko was downing stick after stick of Dango. She saw her captive awake, and decided to have some fun.

"Oh, Naruto-kun. I seem to have this awfully sticky syrup all over my face, and I just can't get it off. Be a good little genin and lick it off for me?"

"Hell no! Get away from me you snake pedo!"

"Why you little-" Anko was annoyed. She wasn't that old, was she? And anyway, he was a genin now, a ninja. That put him, according to jurisdiction, as an adult.

"Well, if you do, I'll put in all my efforts to help you get your sensei's jutsu."

Naruto contemplated. Unknown to her, he'd done much more than just licking her face in the past. Well, to her it had never happened. Well, whatever, he'd do it. It wasn't that he didn't find her attractive, he just didn't like being forced. And hell, he barely knew this woman!

"Fine. But that's it, ok?"

"No promises." The special jounin smirked and walked over to Naruto. She leaned over expectantly. Naruto wrinkled his face and hesitantly stuck his tongue out, licking the sweet sauce off her face. Then, she suddenly lunged down and captured his tongue with her own. Naruto just gave in, he knew what would happen if he resisted. Well, that was the second time he'd gotten his first kiss from Anko. The one with Sasuke didn't count!

Anko moaned a little and drew away, licking her lips.

"Well, brat that was pretty good. I guess I can help you now."

"Eww…yeah whatever. What interrogation techniques are you going to teach me?"

"None. I have a plan."

"Ok?" Damn, Naruto had planned to use the jutsu's for other people as well. (In the present: Well, at least he'd gained some more pleasure techniques from his second session. Although having them forced on him wasn't his preferred learning method.)

"Now, listen up. What does Kakashi treasure above all else?"

"uh…teamwork?"

"No! His porn novels!"

"Oh yeah that too."

"So, all you got to do is sneak into his house, grab them, and threaten to burn them if he won't cooperate!"

"Hm, that's a pretty good plan. Except for the fact that HE'S A MOTHER FUCKING JOUNIN AND I'M STILL A FRIGGIN GENIN! How do you expect me to manage to steal his most treasured possessions?"

"I'll teach you the body flicker jutsu in case you need to escape, and some infiltration techniques to get in."

"Alright! Now, can you let me go so we can begin?"

"Haha, nice try kid. You still need to owe up on your payment." The Mitarashi kunoichi licked her lis.

"After all, a kid who managed to find a jutsu like the infinite ecstasy jutsu couldn't possibly not enjoy what I'm about to do."

"W-wait I didn't ma- AHHH"

Yup, Anko had found the perfect test subject.

 _Back to present:_

Naruto trembled again. Anko had been even more ruthless this time, as she thought he had made the ecstasy jutsu. True, if he had he would want nothing else than what he had just gone through, but he had learned that from Anko! Not that she'd ever believe that.

Well, it was time to use the fruits of his suffering and work. Kakashi would be in for a surprise, and Naruto, well Naruto was going to learn more jutsu than he had his whole life. Now, time to try out those infiltration techniques. Oh, and find some clothes. He was stark naked.

O_o

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Hope you enjoyed! After the wave arch, I'm going to focus more on training and the plot than humor, although I might add more Anko visits and some pairings. Review please.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

A.N: Thanks for the reviews people!

Javi30: Haha, thanks man. I'm not sure how I'm going to incorporate pairings yet.

DhanaRagnarok: Thanks a lot! I hope I don't fail to prove you right.

Clothes, clothes, CLOTHES! He whipped his head back and forth. Luckily, there were no civilians around. What was he supposed to do? Steal clothes off a clothesline? He didn't see any in eye's view, and he'd probably be seen if he went far enough to find one.

Suddenly, Naruto looked to the left in horror. Sakura was coming! _Oh no oh no what do I do?!_

Sakura was walking along happily. After the successful mission to feed Naruto, Sasuke had stopped rebuffing her as a useless teammate. Now he just rejected her because he didn't like her! It was a huge accomplishment. And part of it was thanks to Naruto.

She looked up to see said teammate…in….uh

"Um…Naruto?"

"Yes, Sakura?"

"Why…are you in the ground?"

"Uh, aahaha, funny story really, but Kakashi sensei used an earth jutsu to teach me patience."

"Oh, haha leave it to you and Kakashi sensei. Here, let me get you out."

"NO! Uh…Kakashi sensei was really clear about this, I have to learn the virtues of patience and remain here for a little longer."

"Oh, want me to stick around and get you out later?" Sakura had nothing better to do, being rejected on a date by Sasuke-kun again. Besides, the blonde was growing on her. Sure, he was annoying, but he had his moments.

"Uh, actually I meant I have to be here for a couple of hours."

"Oh, I'll just sit do-"

"DAYS! I mean days!"

"Uhh you sure you heard him right Naruto? This seems a bit extreme."

"Don't worry, Sakura, it's all good!" _Please leave please leave please leave._

"Oh, ok then. I'll see you…in a few days I guess."

"Yup, yes, definitely! Bye!"

As his pink haired teammate left, he let out a sigh of relief. _Boy, that was close._ Now, how to get out of here?

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Panting, Naruto made it to his apartment. In the end, he had transformed his clones into clothes. Sure, he might have had to threaten the clone that became the pants, but it got him home safely. Now, it was time to initiate his plan for Kakashi.

The jinchuuriki stood outside of the location Anko had said Kakashi lived. He picked the lock, kudos to Anko's teaching. Not that it hadn't been earned. Naruto shivered. He stepped in, but saw no security measures whatsoever. Still, better safe than sorry.

He stepped into a room that…holy crap. It contained a whole shelf of Makeout Paradise. Two of each copy, and a third that was still wrapped. _I know he likes them, but this is an obsession that levels with even Sakura's with Sasuke!_ Naruto sweat dropped.

He was pampered by the lack of security as just barely managed to see the trip wire around the books in time. Hmm, it appeared to set off some seals. He knew how to recognize the danger, but Anko hadn't taught him what most seals meant. Still, better to assume it wouldn't be pleasant. He then remembered her warning, that Kakashi's loved books were not to be taken lightly.

He staggered and nearly fell over avoiding the second wire. And then he actually did fall when he jumped off one foot at the last minute to avoid the small glare that alerted him of the third wire. Unfortunately, he landed on the fourth wire. It set off a seal that glowed brightly and vanished.

 _OH shit! That might have been an alert seal that Anko taught me. I didn't have time to read it, but Kakashi could be on his way right now!_ He had to improvise. He wrapped up the books in a bag, and poured gasoline on it. It wouldn't ruin the books, but the impending fire would.

Kakashi was apologizing profusely for his immature reason for blowing off the Hokage's meeting the day before when he felt an alert. _NO!_ Kakashi was a respectable jounin, and he protected his precious things with his life. And so he leapt away, smashing through the window and sprinted toward his home in panic.

He arrived to see a strangely small masked man. Or maybe it was a kid.

"So, Kakashi Hatake. I hear that you copied a thousand jutsu. I'd like to know them. All of them."

"And why should I tell you? You could be a threat to the Leaf and I won't hand an arsenal over to them willingly."

"Rest assured, I'm not against the leaf. However, your books shall pay the price should you fail to comply." Man, all these big words. He couldn't keep this up forever. Clever strategies and smart thinking were (sometimes) his forte. Acting like a powerful blackmailer wasn't.

He held up a lighter in his hand, and lowered it slowly towards the books.

"Ok, ok! I concede! I'll teach you, I'll teach you! Just STOP MOVING THAT LIGHTER!"

Naruto inwardly sighed in relief. If this plan didn't work he wouldn't know what to do.

"But how do you expect me to teach you all 1000 jutsu right now?"

Crap. Crap crap crap crap double crap. How had he forgotten that? By the time he even got through 10 of the jutsus, someone was sure to notice Kakashi's absence. He couldn't keep the jounin captive like that, he had no leverage against the other ninja.

"You'd better come up with an answer quick, or," Naruto pointed the lighter threateningly again.

The jounin thought furiously. What could he do? No one could teach that many jutsu so quickly! He needed a stockpile, or something to give him…a mass source of jutsus..that was it!

"Listen, I'll give you access to the jounin level jutsu in the Konoha library."

"Really? That's Aweso- I mean, that's acceptable. But how?"

"There's a seal that is given that will pass as an access key. I can show you how to write it."

After twenty grueling minutes, the seal was complete. Naruto leapt out the window and Kakashi quickly snatched the bag. Thank god, his treasure was all intact. But he wouldn't let this heinous act go unpunished. That man would pay!

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 _Man, this seal is complicated._ It was a four-way symmetrical pattern of the kanji's for several words unknown to him, with the Uzumaki crest in the middle. Suddenly, he heard the manhunt siren going on. _Shit! I forgot to think that Kakashi-sensei would tell about me!_

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"Lord third! We have a problem!"

The jounin burst in, looking angry.

"What is it, Kakashi?" The hokage was bemused. This was out of character for the normally calm and collected ninja.

"There's an intruder in the leaf, he must be punished!"

"An intruder? How? What did this intruder do?"

"He threatened to bu-Er, I mean he threatens he Hidden Leaf Village! He managed to get the jounin-access level security pass for the jutsu in the library!"

"He what?! How could he have gotten that?"

Kakashi sweated inside. If the Hokage found out how the information had been extracted, today's lashing would be nothing compared to what would come.

"Alright, send the Anbu immediately! I want the Inuzuka, the Hyuga, all the tracker clans out scattered, looking for the intruder! What did he look like, Kakashi?"

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Oh no. Naruto couldn't hide from them forever, even with his hidden power. He had to do something quick. They would never let him get away, so he grimly knew he would have to loop. All his hard work, over again! Well, at least he'd have jounin-level jutsu at his disposal.

But wait. The seal. He wouldn't have it when he cycled! What to do? His memory wasn't good enough to memorize the seal to the last detail, and the work Kakashi-sensei had put in it had proved that it needed to be made like that. He suddenly had a crazy idea. He could control certain things in his mindscape. Sure, he'd only tried heavenly gates to restrain Kurama before their alliance, but it meant he could control things, right? Only one way to find out.

He closed his eyes and went into his mind. Once again, he found himself in a sewer, only with no Kurama. Maybe he should try something big. Let's try…picturing a field. He closed his eyes and focused on a lush, green field, and opened his eyes. The bleak tunnel slowly wavered, and flickered quickly between his pictured field and the sewer. Then he felt a massage loss in chakra and quickly stopped before he died from chakra exhaustion. The sewer returned.

Naruto rested his hand on his knees, gagging and bending over. _That nearly killed me. I need to be careful. It seems I can control things only according to my strength._ It made sense that creating a whole new world would be too much for him, until he expanded his reserves at least. He'd do the bare minimum for now. Working in painstakingly cautious speed, he copied down the seal while periodically leaving to check with the original seal. He was finally finished and stored it in a chest he conjured up when he heard a male voice.

"I think I hear something, it might be him, This way!"

Naruto opened his eyes, leaving his mindscape to see a civilian backed by several anbu. He felt anger blossoming in his chest. He knew this man well.

Flashback:

" _Get the hell out of here!"_

 _Naruto was roughly pushed out of the store. He indignantly replied, "What's the deal? I just wanted a mask…"_

" _Here, is this what you want? Take it and leave, and never come back!" The store owner whipped the mask at the boy, and it bounced off his head._

End:

The injustice burned at him, and he lost control. He was at the end of this loop, and knowing there would be no consequences helped.

The store owner looked at the masked intruder, when he felt a massive wave of killing intent. He froze in fear.

"K-kill hi-him!" He stammered out in fear of his own life.

"Heh, believe me, I'm sure one of you will. But first, I'm taking you with me!" With that, three tails emerged and Naruto let himself wreak vengeance.

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Naruto sat up with a start, panting and shivering. He squeezed his eyes, trying to forget what he had done to the defenseless man. What had he done? He wasn't like Sasuke, hell bent on revenge. He felt a slight pleasure at getting back at the cruel man, but his shame overpowered it. He couldn't do things like that, even with no consequences. Despite what the civilians all told him, he wasn't a monster. Never again.

He realized however, that he had gone into the first tailed beast state, not into kyuubi mode with the chakra he had from Kurama. That meant the corrupt chakra had come from Kurama himself, yet he hadn't sensed him. But how? He suddenly realized that it was possible that Kurama was also his past self, and hated him. That would be a blow to his heart. He had to know sooner or later however, and he delved into his mindscape.

Inside, he saw his chest and was relieved it had come with him. He focused, and sent a flare of chakra mentally hurling his thoughts. " _Kurama!"_

He was shocked when he heard a reply.

'It's about time brat!'

'Kurama, is that really you? And you know who I am?'

'Yes, yes, I know everything. It took you long enough, I've been trying to establish contact for some time now.'

'Where are you? I can't see you.'

'No duh, you idiot. I'm stuck in the past version of you. I may or may not be looping, but since it is the old you, everything is going normally. I've still been seeing you however, it's disorienting to see both of you.'

'Wait, what? You're with the old me? How?'

'I don't know, or else I'd be there with you right now, brat! All I know is what you know, and that your old self, while virtuous and brave, is annoying the hell out of me.'

'Heh heh, sorry about that.'

'Enough, find out what is happening. I can send you some of my chakra , but only a part of it as a small amount of it will leak to the you I am currently with.'

'Wait, what did your me do with the chakra?'

'Ha, he did what was coming to the civilians.'

'Wait, what? You know your chakra at that time only influenced my anger! What did you do to your me?'

'Calm yourself, it's nothing. I'll contact you again when I have more information, you do the same.'

'Fine, but I don't care even if your me isn't real, don't turn him into a Sasuke.'

'Yeah, yeah, you and all your morals. But for what it's worth kid, I haven't forgotten about our new friendship' With that, the fox's presence left. Naruto felt a warmness inside him, not just from Kurama's words, but that he wasn't alone. It felt so good, another person, or um another entity that was with him through the loneliness. He exited his mindscape.

Getting out of bed, Naruto looked at the calendar with a sinking heart.

August 1st.

Well, what had he expected? At least now he wasn't alone. He went head first into the repeating loop of his life with renewed energy, energy he hadn't felt in a while.

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Omake:

Kurama sighed. He did kind of miss his container. The one he was in currently was hardly a worthy substitute. If he heard "believe it" or "I'm going to become Hokage!" one more time he'd kill the whole council just to get him on that chair and shut up.

As it was, the blonde was currently talking to Sakura for help on climbing trees. Hmm, he mused. What would happen if he released some of his vulpine pheromones into his container? Well, might as well have some fun.

Naruto was asking for advice when he felt a tingle…down there. He looked up at Sakura, who was still rambling on when he noticed things he hadn't noticed before. The swell of her chest, the nice ass…what was going on with him? But whatever, he had to have her now!

Sakura stopped talking. She felt a bit nervous at the look her teammate was giving her. He looked like a starving man, and at her like she was a big bowl of ramen. He leapt at her and began ravaging her body despite her protests.

Sasuke looked in utter bewilderment at the scene in front of him. Before long, it got a bit graphic and he felt a tinge of anger.

"Get the hell away from him pinkie, if anyone's doing that to the loser it'll be me!"

0_0

Kurama barfed.

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Hope you guys enjoyed, and don't forget to review!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: A.N:

I might not update for some time, stuff to do and whatnot. At most maybe a few days before the next chapter.

Thanks for all the reviews! Especially Waldo, I'm not bashing, don't worry. Just stating the way things were when Sakura and Sasuke didn't particularly like Naruto. And Shadow of God, the seduction line of thought is definitely something I'm going to think on. Read and review!

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Ok, doing everything again without losing it was just as bad as he'd thought it would be. Luckily, this time he spent a good amount of time taking up Kakashi's offer. He'd used that pass so many times he'd needed to make a new one. But it was worth it. In the few days, he'd learned a couple new jutsu.

He'd gone a bit crazy, the first day, drooling over the awesome wind jutsu he found. I mean c'mon, he'd only learned two jutsu with this element. Now that he thought about it, why was he so limited? Did all his versions of his rasengan compensate? Not in this case, he had to learn more.

He had to face it, he was a close range fighter. Sure, it would be nice to do some long range fighting, but it just wasn't his style, and that significantly lowered the amount of jutsu he was willing to learn. And so he learned the vacuum blade, only it surrounded his hands and created a more circular sword. (This was Danzo's jutsu that he used on his kunai against Sasuke) The result of intensive training was a sky blue killing tool, looking like a wavy, more keen edged chakra scalpel. It kind of cramped his style, as the rasengan he was so used to grinded rather than punctured, but it was still an awesome jutsu!

Now for the part he'd gone crazy. After about fifteen innocent trees had met their demise to Naruto's doing, he was a little drunk in the lust for power. It wasn't like Sasuke, where the power he lusted for was to accomplish revenge. No, it was more like the after effects of the destructive jutsu made him want more, more awesome jutsu!

And so, Naruto attempted to create a new rasenshuriken, with the vacuum blades replacing the ordinary, but still dangerous, wind chakra blades. The result was a spinning nightmare. It had gone out of control, flying out of his hand despite him not being in sage mode, and the destruction of about 3 training grounds.

After fleeing the scene and discreetly spreading a rumor that it had been caused by Anko, he had time to learn one more jutsu. After much decisive thinking, (5 long minutes) he decided he should probably learn one more long range jutsu other than his rasenshuriken. Still, he regretted that smashing the rasenshuriken would permanently impair his arm. Throwing it just didn't give him the satisfaction he felt slamming a sphere of slashing wind blades onto a smug then shocked enemy's face.

Learning the drilling air bullet pellet(The one Shukaku used, and I'll just call it the air bullet because it sounds better.) was pretty easy. It reminded him of his collaboration ninjutsu with Gama-Tatsu. The water gun was pretty similar to this, except blowing out short, compressed air bullets. He hadn't perfected it yet, only being able to pierce through two trees at most before dissipating. Man, he sure did go through a lot of trees. How did they grow back so fast? Ninjas seemed to go through them like nobody's business

In between his hard work, it was D-rank after D-rank after D-rank. By the time he was done learning the two jutsu, he felt he and his team had single-handedly refurbished Konoha to a whole new level. Exhausted, he and his team were in the Hokage's office, learning their next mission.

"Ok, your next mission is…hmm let me look. Iruka, hand me the D-rank mission-"

"Oh HELL NO! I am SO done with all these missions! I want a real mission, for real ninjas, old man!" The blonde hadn't intended it, as he wasn't sure when he had asked for the wave mission. Well, he could always hope.

"NARUTO! Show some respect! New ninjas always do all the D-ranks, and _real_ ninjas as you said do them with NO COMPLAINT!" Iruka was livid, his favorite student was acting out, and he'd have none of it!

"Haha, now there Iruka, he has a point. Kakashi, do you think your team is ready?"

Everyone but Naruto was shocked. The Hokage listened to his rant, just like that? Maybe they should explode more often when things didn't go their way.

"Um, I guess if you're willing, I believe that my team is capable."

"Very well, I'm assigning you all your first C-class mission."

 _Oh no._ Kakashi mentally groaned as his two students slowly turned in confusion at him, and seeing his face, or at least what wasn't covered, slowly started turning red.

"Kakashi-sensei."

"Uh…yes, Sakura?"

"WHAT DOES HE MEAN THIS IS OUR _FIRST_ C-CLASS MISSION?"

"Um, haha, calm down Sakura. I'm sure the third is mistaken, right?" The jounin looked with pleading eyes-or eye, and the Hokage laughed, enjoying seeing the usually stoic man squirm. He took pity, however.

"Yes yes, how could I forget. I meant your second, and I hope it goes as successfully as your last one. It is an escort mission, to the Land of Waves."

Naruto pretended to be excited. "Oh boy! An escort mission? Who are we guarding?"

"Come on in, Tazuna!" The Hokage called out.

The door slid open to reveal a man in a straw hat. With a drunken look. And a sake bottle. _This is our escort?_ Thought Sakura and Sasuke.

"These brats are supposed to protect me?" They man slurred out, looking at them with a drunken yet critical eye.

"I assure you, they are fully fledged ninja of the Leaf." Hiruzen assured the his client.

Sakura twitched at the insult, but Sasuke actually let some emotion out in the form of a scowl. Naruto was expecting this, and so he did not leap at the bridge master's throat. Until the next minute that is.

"Especially that short one, he looks like an idiot!"

 _Haha, poor Sakura!_ He looked over to console the pinkette, only to receive looks of amusement and bit of pity from Sakura. Of course, it was back when he was the shortest! Hey, how dare that drunk old man call him that!

"Hey! Who do you think you're calling an idiot! At least I don't look like some half-wit who fell into a barrel of Sake and can only pick on kids because everyone else is better than you!" Naruto held himself back however, as he'd go through a hundred insults before screwing up and looping. He'd almost throttled both Sakura and Sasuke about a hundred time this cycle. He couldn't wait till they became more like his friends he knew, although he hoped against all else that maybe Sasuke would remain with him this time.

Tazuna, Kakashi, Hiruzen, and Sakura all looked shocked. Sasuke just looked bored, and maybe a bit amused that the old man had gotten a tongue lashing from a twelve year old. Kakashi and Hiruzen were both impressed at Naruto. Usually he lashed out with fists and words, but this time he only used his words, albeit in a scathing manner. Tazuna just gaped, and looked down in regret. Had he sunk so low as to look down at kids just for fun?

 _Wow, I know this Tazuna was a bit mean, but Naruto just flat out flipped!_ She had been a bit scared of the outburst, but seeing that Naruto hadn't tried to attack the man, he was just a little miffed.

"Well…um, you all should leave by today. It's a long journey on foot for a civilian like Tazuna, so get an early start."

"Right. Team, gather your mission essentials and meet at the front gates in an hour, got it?"

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At the gates, the team 7 was ready for action!

"Alright guys, this is just a C-class, so don't be disappointed if nothing exciting happens. The most intense scenario would probably be some bandits or something, nothing you guys can't handle."

This time, Naruto noticed a small but audible twitch in Tazuna's eye.

After a few hours in the burning sun, Naruto was hunched over, sweating his balls off. Suddenly, he spied a puddle in the corner of his eye. Perking up, he readied himself for the danger. He noticed Kakashi-sensei tense up a bit as well.

Passing by, he suddenly heard a splash as the two demon brother leapt out and attacked! They appeared behind Kakashi, and the jounin was caught by the spiked chain arms the two wielded. Naruto was expecting it, but it still felt gruesome to see his teacher explode in blood and guts. It sure looked realistic. Did Kakashi get some sense of joy out of tricking his students of his grisly death or something? He sure put a lot of effort into its authenticity.

This time, Naruto didn't freeze up as the two cackled in glee and hurled themselves at the self-proclaimed bridge master. Sasuke ran forward to intercept them, and Naruto did too. The brothers saw this and suddenly veered away at Sakura, the most defenseless out of the three. Naruto and Sasuke saw too late and saw in horror as Kakashi came too late as well to intercept the surprise attack. Metal appendages dug into Sakura's flesh and tore her apart, only this wasn't an illusion.

Kakashi exploded, and formed a chidori.

"I was going to originally interrogate you two, but I think I can manage with this!" With those words, Kakashi plunged the lighting blade into the two, frying their insides.

Sasuke was shaken, the horror of feeling his comrades falling, the ones he cared about, if only a little bit. How could this have happened? This was a C-class mission, the last one had been to feed a certain idiot some veggies for fuck's sake!

Naruto felt pain at seeing Sakura die, sure not as much as if it had been his Sakura, or even if this was permanent. At least he knew he'd be seeing her annoying face again soon, he thought grimly. He sighed in resignation, he couldn't continue without her. Sure, she was unbearable right now, but in the future she would mature and become one of his greatest friends.

Well, better get the torturous cycle on the way. He had some time to think of the best way to die, but hadn't managed to find a suicide no jutsu as of yet, although it was probably for the best in case there were some dangerously depressed people around. He didn't feel like impaling himself, and then he remembered what had happened last time. The time he had made his vow, to never go back on his word, to never run away! It still ran deep within him, but that wasn't why he remembered. He had sworn that vow on his wound, caused by him stabbing his hand to get rid of the thing he needed right now.

The venom was still coating the now dead and steaming corpses of the remaining parts of the once Demon Brothers. He quickly jabbed his heart with a sharp shard, sticky with the poison. Trying to blot out the cries of his shocked comrades as it made him feel quite guilty, he slowly descended into darkness.

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Naruto, the once mighty ball of unconquerable energy, was walking along the path to the Land of Waves once again, only with the posture of someone who had seen the most depressing of wars. Ok, what he went through wasn't that bad, but it was close. One more time, ONE MORE TIME of having to convince his stuck up and fantasizing teammates to cooperate, and he'd go live on the moon.

Passing the puddle, he eagerly prepared to fight. He refused to let anything go wrong this time. NOT AGAIN! When the demon brother flew out and discombobulated his sensei, he raced towards Sakura to shield her.

Only to be thrown back as Sasuke collided with them to put them out of harm's way. And then be impaled twice by poisoned blades.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU IDIOT!" Kakashi looked up in surprise with his electrified hand once again in the demon brother's bodies. That wasn't the way one acted when his teammate just sacrifices himself for you!

As Sasuke slowly felt himself fade, the last things he heard and saw were of his blonde teammate ranting and raving and swinging his arms. Something about how stupid he was and how he should have just stayed put? The hell was wrong with the loser, he had felt a spark of friendship with him, and his body instinctively moved to protect him. This was the thanks he got? Then he faded completely.

Naruto roared in frustration and, what a surprise, slammed a full blown rasenshuriken onto the dead Demon brothers and died in the surrounding aftershock.

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Sakura gasped as she turned around, only to see her sensei get torn to bits! She was terrified, the one powerful ninja on the squad was gone! She panicked and looked up to see the two men rush at her.

Suddenly, she heard, "Sakura, stay the FUCK put! And Sasuke, you too! Just stay put, STAY FUCKING PUT, OKAY?!"

One more time, ONE and if either of his teammates either sacrificed themselves or got themselves hurt, he'd finish them off himself. He was DONE with repeating for reasons beyond his ability!

Sakura was a bit perturbed….Ok, what the hell was that? She had no time to think as her body instinctively listened to Naruto's rather angry orders, as did Sasuke for some reason. Naruto formed hand signs, not the one for the shadow clone jutsu however."

"Vacuum blade jutsu!" Sakura and Sasuke, and secretly Kakashi, looked in shock as the blonde formed a deadly looking wind blade. He rushed at the two attackers, and slaughtered them mercilessly.

"HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME GO THROUGH THAT TWICE! DIE, DIE, and DIEEEE!" Naruto had really lost it. All the pent of anger of having to go through two cycles, because of these bastards had been bottled up for this moment. He slashed down over and over and felt a little better seeing the mangled pair staring dead at him.

Ok, he felt a little sick now. But those two had really sent him over the edge.

His team just stared.

Kakashi was for once, speechless. _Well, I guess that takes care of that then…although that was a bit extreme._

"Uh, Naruto good job. You ok?"

"Uh…yea, fine!" Naruto had to come up with something, no loop NO LOOP!

"After seeing them kill you, I just lost it. I couldn't think straight, not with the two who killed you being alive still." Good, no great explanation! He saw Sakura's slightly disgusted and fearful look change to one of understanding, and Sasuke's disgruntled one turn to his regular face. The avenger could understand his blonde teammate's need for revenge.

 _Um, I guess that's…sweet? In a way._ Kakashi was grateful, of course, but it seemed a bit drastic. Although Naruto didn't know he had faked his death, so it was a reasonable answer. Or so he thought.

Kakashi still needed to know one thing that didn't add up, however. "Uh, thanks…so, where'd you get that jutsu?"

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Omake that explains a question I've had for some time: 

A productive day had passed, good harvests, good business, good training by ninjas. That also resulted in about half of the trees around Konoha's training grounds to be decimated and the ecosystem wrecked.

An anbu jumped down and groaned. Why had he been cursed with the wood style? He just had to be born with this "blessing," didn't he? Why couldn't the ninja be more sparing? It wasn't fair!

"Wood style, deep forest creation!" It wasn't as vast as the first Hokage's wood style jutsu, but it was enough to repair the destroyed forest. Yamato was left on the ground panting in exhaustion. And the next day was going to be this all over again! Still, he hadn't exhausted his chakra for nothing, he proudly looked at the beautiful nature he had created. And at least he was done for today.

"WIND STYLE, VACUUM BLADE RASENSHURIKEN!" A giant gale blew Yamato away, and he fainted.

When he opened his eyes, he saw destruction all around his newly created forest. A whole plane of trees that had been downed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yamato cried anime tears as he saw the task ahead of him.

A week later, there were no more trees surrounding Konoha. Why? Yamato had left his resignation after filling in Naruto's little patch of training.

No longer could Konoha be called the village hidden in the leaves.


	12. Announcement

AN: I know you're not supposed to use Author's notes for chapters, but I felt I should tell you guys this because I always wanted to know these things when I read fanfics. I Haven't been updating because school started and it was hella confusing, but I wanted to let you guys know by next Sunday I promise to have out at least 3 new chapters :D. Thanks for the support!


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